Michael's Story

Chapter 42

The second Antonio shut the door behind Michael, anger animated Celia. A death glare, waiting to meet the brown-pupil orbs belonging to her husband. And once Antonio turned around, he was struck by the coldness of Celia's face.

A great sense of knowing hung over Antonio. Celia overheard the conversation he had with Michael just before his brother left. Nothing could bypass Celia, mainly if it occurred under their roof.

Antonio made a decision he didn't consult with his wife beforehand. Taking matters into his own hands was his right, but ensuring his wife agreed with his choices was a moral obligation. Celia was the primary reason for the peace he'd been experiencing for the past year. With that, Antonio would always make her a priority.

Holding her stare on Antonio as he walked toward the staircase, Celia headed for the dining room. Antonio could only make it to the second step of the stairs. Twisting down a couple of steps, Antonio sighed, knowing he couldn't leave her alone and angry.

Tapping his knuckles against the sides of his legs, Antonio procrastinated. He kept to Celia's profile as she quickly stacked the dishes on the dining table. She slipped through the double doors leading to the kitchen, taking the mountain of plates with her. She weaved back into the dining room with a towel and cleaned the table.

Celia swiped big circles, the agitation increasing with every complete motion. Noticing how hard she was biting down, Celia stopped midway between swipes and gradually relaxed her jaw. Scrapping the towel up, her eyes landed on her husband's.

"I can't believe you. After everything?" She spoke.

He dropped his head and clasped his hands behind his back, "You overheard it before I could even tell you. I wouldn't hide anything from you."

"You did one time, and I had to find out the truth on my own. And here I am again..."

"That's not the same thing, Celia."

"But it feels like it!"

Celia dropped the towel back on the table and stuck her hands on her hips.

"So what now?" She shrugged, "You'll be back doing the same thing you almost lost us over?"

"Celia..." Antonio pressed his thumb and index finger into the corners of his eyes.

"That's a serious question. Are you? Is that really what you want to do?"

Tossing his head back, Antonio let out an exasperated sigh, "That's not what this is about."

"Then, tell me what it's about." Celia hardened her voice.

Shifting his focus back to his wife, Antonio internally retreated. It was apparent Celia had to vent. He wanted to allow her the space to do just that.

"Three kids, Antonio," Celia shook three fingers at him, "Three! And they're little babies. They don't know what's going on. All they know is that I'm the mama and you're daddy. They need me. They need you. Think about that." She pleaded.

"I am thinking about that! I'm also thinking about my brother, and I'm one of the few people that he has left. It's not easy for me to make a fucking decision like this." Antonio said.

"It seemed pretty easy. You didn't even hesitate."

"I have to be there for him. He put his life on the line for me countless times. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't do the same for him?"

"And that's just what I'm worried about: you putting your life on the line again. Because... what if this time you never make it home?" Celia lowered her voice.

"We can't think like that. Okay? I'm gonna do whatever it takes; I don't care what it is to ensure I always come home."

Comforting his wife was the only objective now. Antonio held her in his arms, his entire body encompassing her small frame. The tips of his fingers grazed the roots of her hair as he slipped his hand into her curls.

The lifestyle Antonio fought to leave was now he was returning to. But, it was all in the name of love for his brother. This last year was the final year for the Martinez family.

Junie's Journal: Entry #67

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

I have this new outlook on myself and my patterns. If I can make corrections, maybe I can learn new lessons. Perhaps I can gain new insights, skills, confidence, and more with this mindset of 'accountable but not judging self' that I'm in. I need to stop believing that bad things last forever. If something no longer serves me, I can walk away. It's crazy to read back on some of my older entries and see how negative my perspective was. But I had a lot to say. I had so much to say. I filled up two notebooks, and now I'm on my third. It also helps me keep a record of my growth. And I'm proud of myself.

Currently, I'm grateful for everything. I'm thankful for my mom, my brothers, and my sister. I'm grateful for Michael. In these past few months, he's made so much progress that it's scary. I'm thankful for my dad because my most incredible memories wouldn't have been made without him. I'm grateful for all my experiences, good and bad because I wouldn't be here without them. I thank God every single second that I'm alive. And I always remember to thank myself as well. As scary as change is, I'm ready to fully embrace it.

I cleanse myself of negative energy, doubt, and anger. I call for protection from negativity. I call for guidance, love, and clarity. I call for a life of abundance and peace. I am filled with gratitude and joy. I let go of all things that hinder me. Only I can reject myself. No one else holds the power to ruin me.

And for the first time in my life, I believe that. I've made it this far; I can get through anything. My love for myself is the best I'll ever receive. I can't wait to see what the future holds. 

Thank you, God! 

END