Desert Lily [SS#1]

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Kaisen

We sat before my dad as he held his head in his hands. After hearing that mom was alive and she had another child, dad had grown quiet. He had been sitting in that same position for some time now. "I'm not crazy." He mumbled before laughing. "What did he or she look like?" His question surprised me more than I thought it would. As I explained to him what Onzoi looked like, he started crying before I got up. Rounding the small table, I sat next to my dad while hugging him.

"His name is Onzoi. He looks a lot like Sihea." I explained to him as I looked over at my love who softly smiled at me.

"I've seen him before. I thought I was losing my mind." Dad confessed while wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "It started several moon phases after the sacred ceremony was held for all of those that had passed. I still had trouble sleeping even though four seasons have passed since her death. I waited until after you and Sihea were tucked in before I drank myself to sleep. A baby's cry startled me awake and when I came to, I was somewhere else. It was pitch darkness with a makeshift baby crib where a small pale orange infant laid, angrily crying. I couldn't just stand there not doing anything. Just holding them seemed to calm the baby down." He explained while staring down at his hands.

"Was that the only time you saw Onzoi?" Lily asked as my dad shook his head.

"No. I saw him several times in my dreams as he grew up. It eventually got to the point where he would talk to me and ask me things. Or, I'd just sit there with him in my arms and tell him the same fairytale that I used to tell my children. I was completely sure that he was one of my kids like I could feel it! But I didn’t know whether he was real or not and if he was real, how was it even possible for us to have had a third child when it was so difficult in the first place.” He stressed while running his hands through his hair. “It felt like the great mother of all was showing me this child in my dreams as some type of torture for not being there for my mate when she needed me the most.” He confessed as Lily had taken the seat on the other side of my dad while gently patting his back.

“I can understand where you’re coming from.” She started with a soft smile on her face that didn’t reach her eyes. “I spent a long time thinking that I was still alive now, facing all of these hardships because I failed to protect my family when they needed me the most and in the end, they all died by the hands of somebody we spent of entire lives running from.” She confessed as we looked at her in surprise. “But, in the end, I finally came to terms with the fact that no matter what would have gone differently, they still would’ve died at his hands and I would still be mourning their deaths. My mama made it clear to me that it wasn’t my fault no matter how much I blamed myself. She let it be known that I couldn’t spend my entire life wallowing in misery when we were all okay.” She smiled as my dad pulled her into a hug as she hugged him back. “It’ll take some time but we’ll be okay. The day will come where we’re all together again, laughing and bathing in the happiness. But for now, we must proceed to heal those wounds that we created when we were down.” She soothed as he nodded.

[~~~]

I quietly watched Lily as she went about making some plants appear and disappear in the backyard. Ever since we got back from my dad’s, she’s been acting normal. It’s like I got a glimpse of what her life was like for just a second before she went back to being her usual self. I know I told her that I’d wait until she’s ready to tell me but I’m worried about her. She even denied my help when I asked her earlier, so now I was just sitting on the back porch watching her.

“Yes, darling?” She asked while looking back at me as I quietly shook my head. “Something’s wrong since you keep watching me.” She commented with worry on her face as I stood up from my sopt before strolling over to her and kissing her forehead. “See, something’s bothering you. Was it because I made your dad’s moment feel like it was all about me?” She inquired as I frowned at her. Was that how she saw it? Is that why she din’t talk about it much?