Daniel Pov Prisoner Of Night And Fog

Chapter 37

There was a note saying that my cousins have left for Frankfurt to visit their parents over the weekend. Without them, the apartment seemed rather empty. I had gone into my room and lit a candle on my nightstand, I saw Gretchen at the doorway.

She looked hesitant, looking about my room almost cautiously, she looked at our beds, mine wedged beneath the window, and my cousins against the whitewashed wall. The plain cambric curtains that framed the window, the old armoire that stood in the corner. The stacks of books on the writing table, and under it was a small pile of clothes that needed to be washed. The cheap copies of paintings by Picasso and Klimt. The room wasn't the most respectable, Gretchen didn't seem to care about it too much for the mess. 

"I shouldn't be in here," she said at last.
I looked at her "Shouldn't? Or don't want to?" I asked.
I walked up to her, standing close to her, I could feel some heat emanating from her.
She looked up to me "I want to be here" she said.
My gaze locked on hers "With a Jew?" I asked.
She didn't answer for a second "With Daniel" she muttered.
"We are one of the same," I said, looking at her with a serious expression "My faith is part of me," I explained "Gretchen. If we wish to be together, we must accept every part of each other" I told her.
With little hesitation, she put her hands on my shoulders "I accept every part of you" she said.

I smiled and cupped the back of her neck, propelling her closer to me till we kissed. I kissed her mouth, her neck, and her temple. Gretchen started to kiss me, I felt sparks revolving where she kissed me, my lips, the curve where my neck met my shoulder, the flesh beneath my ear. "You are so beautiful," I murmured "So lovely, my Gretchen" muttered.

Gretchen drew back, looking shocked at my words, she sank into my beds edge, staring at the ground with unseeing eyes.
"Gretchen?" I asked as I sat down next to her, my knee brushing hers "What is it?" I asked, wanting to know what it is I did or said to making her so upset.
"I'm not beautiful." She started, how dare she think that? "My family..." she trailed off "My family is twisted into such ugliness." She tried to explain.

I was quiet for a moment "You are your own person, separate from your brother and your parents. Do you really think you're responsible for what they had became? These are ties of blood, nothing more. You have chosen who you want to be" I tried to explained.
She didn't answer for a second "I'm so ashamed of them" she said, her voice sounding like she was about to cry.

I didn't speak for a second "Do you think I don't understand shame?" I asked her "I'm a Jew. All my life, I've been hated and mocked" I explained.
I stretched myself out on the bed, pillowing my head on my hands. She hesitantly laid down beside me, resting her head on my chest.

I decided to tell her about something that happened last December. I told her how my father taken me to the Mozartsaal Theatre on the Nollendorfplatz in Berlin. The American version of the film All Quiet on the Western Front was playing for its second night. 
I told Gretchen how the evening was supposed to be a grand treat. When the film as began, hordes of men poured into the darkened theater, screaming 'Jews, get out!' Missiles flew off the balcony, falling into the seats below, where my father and I were sitting. The missiles exploded on impact, filling the air with a hideous smell.
I had realised they were stink bombs, and I had told Gretchen that.
Even when people started screaming, and I had stood up, shouting at my father to escape. How I had heard mice squeaking, the sound seemed to be magnified, as though countless numbers were rushing towards us, how I had felt their sharp clams digging into my shoes, and how I had seen dozens, hundreds of white mice, swarming across the floor.
I had pulled on my father's arm, urging him to hurry. But my father had shrank back, murmuring if they stayed silent they would be left alone. SA brownshirts raced up and down the aisles, grabbing men at random and punching them in the face, shouting 'Jews, get out!'
I had felt hands grabbing my arms and spinning me around. Light from the flickering movie screen illuminating the SA man's grinning face.
I had clenched my hands into fists, but before I could land a punch, the other man hit me squarely in the jaw.
I told her how I had fell back, half collapsing from the sudden white-hot pain. I told her how my father had seized me, dragging me down into the seats. 'Not a word' my father had said to me as the man had than continued to search for my victims. I told Gretchen how I had heard the police whistles blast.
I told Gretchen how I couldn't look at my father. My father had done nothing, he had watched me, his own son, get hit, because he thought silence was the answer and acceptance meant survival. I informed her how, at that moment, as police office started pouring into the cinema and the SA hordes ran out. I told Gretchen how I had resolved too never again to feel ashamed. Never to submit. I would fight until my last breath. Only death could stop me.

When I finished telling her my story, Gretchen and I had laid quietly for a moment, I saw Gretchen looking over me with a smile.
She sat up and looked my squarely in the face "I love you, Daniel" she said.
I smiled, they were the words I had wanted to hear for a while, mainly since we were on the train "I love you, too" I said.
Gretchen kept smiling, looking like she was unable to stop, she laid down again, I could feel her heartbeat though our layers of clothes. We could faintly hear each other's heartbeats, and I fell asleep, listening to her steady breathing and heartbeat. 

The next morning, we had hard rolls with cheese and coffee for breakfast. Gretchen checked her watch "I must hurry" she said as she finished her cup of coffee "I'm due to meet Geli at eleven" she said.
I was shocked, after what had happened yesterday, I didn't think she would still go. "You're still planning on going to Hitler's apartment?" I asked, staring at her.
She carried her dishes into the kitchen and sat them in the sink "Herr Hitler left for Nuremberg last night. He's gone on a campaigning trip he's been planning for quite some time, so he won't miss it. Sometimes he insists on Geli's having chaperones, but not if she's going shopping with a girlfriend. There will be no one at the apartment except for Geli and the servants" she half reminded me.

She filled a pot with water and set it on a burner to boil. I dumped my plate and cup into the sink. I didn't like her going to Hitler's apartment, especially with her brother knowing about me.
"I must, don't you see?" She asked "Geli needs to know that he's dating" she trailed, not wanting to say the girls name "someone else, and she's free of him. Daniel," she added when I said nothing, she took my hands in hers, "You didn't see her face at the picnic, when she whispered that her uncle was watching her again. She loves him, I think, but she feels trapped" she tried to explain.

I sighed, there was no talking her out of it "You have a good heart, Gretchen. Please be careful." I warned.
The pot started to boil, and I reached past her to pick it up "I've got to get to the office. There's talk there will be a Communist demonstration on the Odeonsplatz tonight. If there is, the brownshirts are sure to be there to start a fight. My editor wants me to cover it" I explained to her.

"Can I come with you?" she asked.
I was shocked at the statement, but I tried not to show it was I poured water into the sink. Steam flooded up, hiding me for an instant. "Your brother might be there. He's one of the SA's best brawlers." I explained as I started to scrub the dishes.
She raised her chin "It's a small city. I'll have to see him again sooner or later" she reasoned.
I stopped scrubbing the dishes and looked at her. "That sounds like you plan to stay in München. It isn't safe for you anymore. Not now that your brother has seen us together" I commented.
"I know," she said, and started to busy herself by tidying the table, in the corner of my eye I saw her slip a breadknife in her skirts pocket "I'm not leaving until I can learn what happened to my father. But I must get out at some point. There's nothing else here for me but you" She said.

I guess she has a point, at least she admits she needs to leave at some point. I thought for a second, "You'd like Berlin" I said at last "And my parents would like having me closer again" I said.
I saw her looking at me, with a surprised expression, she looked like she was trying to speak, but I resumed the washing of the dishes.

After a short moment I noticed she was just staring at me, with a pleasantly surprised expression. I tilted my head and grinned "Are you going to watch or help?" I asked.
"Oh. Sorry" she muttered, snatching up a dishtowel and tried a plate "It's just... I've never seen a boy wash dishes before." she commented, shocking me slightly, before I remembered how her brother asked "It's wonderful" she added with a smile.
I caught her hand in my soapy ones and kissing each of her knuckles.
After we finished washing the dishes, she left quickly to meet with Geli.