Oh Ms Believer

26. Jenna

I tried to remain calm when Sam and Tyler left, but I was a wreck. Tyler and I had discussed it well into the night. We both knew, logically, that what happened in June wasn't going to happen again today. But I couldn't help but worry.

Rosie was being her usual self and a wonderful distraction. June woke up shortly after Sam left for school, and the distraction of taking care of her helped for a few minutes.

Tyler came back in the house whistiling and smiling.

"How can you be in such a good mood?" I asked.

"Why shouldn't I be in a good mood? My kids are all healthy, my beautiful wife looks absolutely gorgeous today, my career is going well. I'm in a good mood," he smiled at me.

"Your oldest daughter is back in the same building where her friend died on her, and her friend killed him," I said incredulously. "Aren't you worried?"

"Babe, we talked about this last night. It's highly unlikely, like a zero to one chance, that that will happen again. And especially today. I can't live in fear. I already worry every day about Sam's health and Rosie, and Junie. And you. And Josh and Debby, and all our friends. I worry enough about enough. I don't have room to worry about something I know isn't likely to happen," he said.

I just stopped. and looked at him. I know he's right. I do.

"Did Sam get off to school okay?" I asked, trying to keep my cool.

"She did. Jill, Mason and Cameron were all outside waiting for her. She admitted she was a little nervous but she went in with no problem. I'm not even sure she saw the press across the road."

"Why is the press there?" I asked.

"Um, first day back at school after a school pew pew?" he said as Rosie came up to us.

"What's a pew pew?" Rosie asked.

"It's, it's the accident that happened at Sammy's school last summer."

"Pew pew!" Rosie said, running away. I breathed out.

Tyler watched as she ran away.

"We can't keep hiding what happened from Rosie. I don't want her to be afraid to go to school, but we can't keep hiding this from her. We're going to slip up eventually," I said.

"If we do, we do and we'll figure out how to explain it. Let's let her stay innocent as long as we can," Tyler said. Sometimes his optimism can be annoying.

He disappeared downstairs and I went to check on Rosie in her playroom.

She wasn't in her playroom. I looked around, trying to figure out where she got to. The kitchen door was closed. The back door was closed. She could have gone upstairs, or even followed Tyler downstairs.

I called her name and heard her in the living room. She was holding the TV remote and had turned on the TV.

"Sammy's school is on TV," she smiled. To her, that's where we went to watch Sam play basketball when we weren't watching her 'chair ball'.

"Mama?" She asked, looking at me.

"Yes, Rosie?" I asked, as I tried to find the kids programming.

"What's a shoe thing?"

"A what?" I asked her, looking over at her.

"A shoe thing. The man on TV said the school had a shoe thing and six people are dead. What's a shoe thing?  And what's dead?"

And there it was. It hadn't even been us who'd slipped up. Not really. I called for Tyler to come back upstairs.

"What?" He asked, clearly mildly annoyed that I'd interrupted him as he was preparing to leave again in a couple of days.