Oh Ms Believer

52. Tyler

I was so happy to be home from tour with no plans to go back out for a while. I was so happy Samantha was home from the hospital. The day we brought her home, we'd arranged for a bunch of our friends, and her honorary uncles, as well as my brothers and sister, to welcome her home. I smiled as I watched her greet everyone. Jenna got a little teary eyed when she gave my brother Zack a huge hug and told him she loved him. He'd been worried she'd be mad at him for his role in helping Jenna get her to the hospital.

Samantha had made huge progress in the hospital. She came home smiling. And it wasn't forced, because when she really smiled, her blue eyes get even more blue. They sparkle and I swear, they change color. A brighter blue. If that's even possible. And that afternoon, those eyes sparkled.

She talked about her time in the hospital and I was really, really proud of her. She told Brendon and Sarah. And Pete and Patrick and whoever else was around her, about how she'd been feeling and how glad she was to be home.

At one point, Jenna was sitting next to her and they were in the middle of a conversation when all of a sudden, Samantha wrapped her arms around Jenna and put her head on Jenna's shoulder. Jenna put her arm around Samantha, kissed her head and smiled at her.

"What's this for? I'm certainly not complaining. Just curious," Jenna smiled at our daughter.

"Thank you," Samantha said to her.

"Samantha," Jenna smiled. "You don't have to thank us. We're your parents. We will always do what is best for you. Even if you disagree."

"I know," Samantha said. "But thank you anyway. Thank you for doing for me what I couldn't do for myself. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't sent me to the hospital."

"I don't even want to think about it," Jenna said. "But you're welcome. I - We - love you, Samantha. And we always will."

Samantha stayed cuddled into Jenna and I couldn't help but smile. Three weeks ago, she would not even acknowledge Jenna's existence.

It was an interesting thing about Samantha. It was almost as if there were two of her. The part she struggled against, which was the part that grew up with her birth father, and our Samantha. She was a lot better at not falling into some of the same thought patterns she used to a few years ago, when her birth father held so much sway on her psyche. We worked - she worked - really hard at overcoming that, but still slid into those thought patterns. Unsurprisingly, honestly. She lived with him for 13 years. She has only been our daughter for four years. But she's made such incredible gains since. I could sometimes see the conflict playing out in her mind.

We ordered in dinner - a Chinese buffet because Chinese food had become our celebratory meal - and after we ate, we got the little girls to bed, our friends started trickling out and pretty soon it was just the three of us and Brendon and Sarah, as they were staying at our place.

Samantha was leaning up against me listening to Brendon talking about life and stuff. We were all just relaxing. Samantha was looking at her arm.

"Dad?" She said suddenly. I still loved the sound of that from her.

"Yep?" I asked her.

"What do I do about this?" She asked, showing me the scars that formed the words 'it's my fault'. She no longer blamed herself for the shooting. She'd come to understand and accept that Kyle's actions had nothing to do with her. We were able to find out that math wasn't the only class he'd been failing. He was a smart kid, but something had happened and his grades started plummeting. He'd been kicked off the baseball team both for poor academic performance and poor sportsmanship. He'd apparently rushed the mound when he got struck out in the last game he played. We'd had to ask the principal for more information in order to help Samantha. He was very sympathetic to what Samantha was going through.

I took her arm and looked at it.

"We have a few options," I said.

"Like?" She asked.

"Well," the easiest might be to just chop it off," I said, pretending to karate chop her arm just below the elbow.

"Daaaaad!" She laughed, a sound I will never get tired of hearing.

"Okay, so we can just get a knife and cut that part out," I said.

"Daaaad! Seriously!" She laughed. Brendon was watching and laughing.

"Or," I said. "We could get a tattoo to cover it."

Samantha shot up and turned to look at me.

"Really?!" She was smiling.

I looked over at Jenna, whose expression was unreadable. I could tell she wasn't thrilled with the idea, but also that it would be a way to help Sam heal from her most recent trauma.

"Well, you need at least one parent's approval. And I'm willing to give you permission. Mom may be less than thrilled with my idea, though."

"I think it's an awesome idea," Brendon said.

Jenna looked over at him and frowned a little.

"I'm not in love with the idea," Jenna said. "But I'm also not in love with the scar and what you wrote there. I understand it, but it does make me sad."

Sam looked away from Jenna.

"I'm sorry, Mom," she said, quietly.

"Don't be, Sam. It wasn't a good time for you. I understand why you did it. I wish you hadn't, as I'm sure you do. And while I don't love the idea of you getting a tattoo at 17, I'm also not going to stop you and your dad. Because I don't really want to see that anymore either," she smiled a bit.

"When can we go?" Samantha asked me.

"Well, hold on, kiddo. Let's come up with something first, before we go running to a tattooist," I laughed.

We started talking about what tattoo she should get, how we could cover the scars, and brainstormed, the five of us.

Sam started getting tired, as it was getting late, so we agreed we'd pick it up in the morning. I helped her up to bed and once she was changed and had brushed her teeth and gotten into bed, I went in, tucked her in and said good night.

"Night, Dad," she yawned.

"Good night, sweetheart. So glad you're home," I smiled at her.

"Me too," she smiled back at me.

I turned out her overhead light and went back downstairs. I felt good. I felt like things were going the right way finally. My family was under one roof again, my kids were all relatively healthy and we had good friends visiting to help us all celebrate Samantha, again.

Life was finally calming down.