My life with mental illnesses..

My life..

When you want someone to notice how down you are,

how bad you've got,

yet at the same time you don't want them to notice because you don't want to be a burden...

You want them to make you feel better,

to help you through it,

to tell you it will all be okay,

yet they're completely oblivious to it or choose to ignore it.

When the person you're closest to leaves to do something or goes to sleep and you give short replies..

Maybe they'll notice that you're not okay anymore,

that you need them to stay, just a little bit longer before they leave..

But they don't, they still go anyway,

and you're left there with your thoughts,

struggling to breathe,

trying so hard to distract yourself from falling back into the cycle of self destruction.

All you think about is ways to end your life,

because the voices,

they tell you it's the only way out.

Once you make it through the night, after dragging the blade across your skin,

or swallowing some pills,

the morning comes...

You sit and wait for the good morning message..

perhaps someone, anyone will finally realise that you need help,

somebody to save you...

No, they don't notices,

nobody notices,

and the same thing happens, day in, day out,

until you finally break.

You cry or have a panic attack in front of someone,

they see your pain,

yet you can't help but tell them you're fine and walk away...

A/N;

I wrote this one myself.