the hangover 2

chapter four

   "I really think we should go to the American consulate." Stu told us as we walked the streets of Bangkok.

   "For what? Report a dead body we shoved into an ice machine?" Phil shrugged.

   "Literally. What would we tell them?" I said looking over at Stu.

   "Are we gonna keep walking around in circles? Because that's real productive!" Stu shot back at us.

   "I'm trying to figure this out. Your attitude is not working." Phil angrily told Stu. It was funny because the monkey was perched on his shoulder.

   "Well, I'm sorry. But it's 100 degrees and we don't have a plan. And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas." Stu said turning to Alan.

   "What? It's a bag of fanta." Alan shrugged.

   "All right, what do you wanna do Stu?" Phil asked him annoyed.

   "I don't know!" Stu yelled.

   "Well, then stop yelling at me like it's my fucking fault!" Phil shot back.

   "It is your fault!" Stu yelled even louder.

   "No, it isn't. It's none of our faults, stop whining." I said in a serious tone sticking up for my boyfriend.

   "All I wanted was a bachelor brunch!" Stu whined. Suddenly the phone started ringing and it was Doug calling.

   "Talk to me." Phil said into the phone, a couple seconds went by, "Oh. Thank god." Phil sighed, "Doug found him." He told us, "What happened?"

   "Thank goodness." I smiled relieved.

   "Arrested? For what?" Phil continued talking to Doug, "Seriously?" He said a bit taken aback, "Okay. Okay, I'll call you when we get there." He hung up the phone.

   "What happened?" I asked Phil impatiently.

   "Teddy's in jail, but fine. We gotta get a cab." He told us.
———
   There we were, sat at the police station waiting for Teddy. When suddenly, a cop rolled out a random old guy.

   "Wait, who's this fucking guy?" Phil asked the cop confused.

   "Teddy Srisai." The cop mumbled and then walked away.

   "No, no, no. It's the wrong guy. Sir." Phil called out, he quickly ran up to another cop sitting at the front desk, "Excuse me. I'm sorry, officer. Uh, there's been a mistake. He brought the wrong guy. That's not Teddy."

   "Of course it is." The cop said, "We have his IDs and everything." He slid over his belongings, "These were in his pockets when we made the arrest."

   "They were in his pocket?" Phil asked confused and pointed at the old man.

   "That doesn't even make sense." I quietly said to myself.

   "Excuse me, sir. How did you get this stuff?" Stu asked the old man who blankly stared at him, "Hello?"

   "Teddy doesn't speak. We tried English, Thai, Chinese. Nothing." The cop informed us.

   "Let me ask you something. Does he look like he works out at bally total fitness in Palo Alto, California?" Stu questioned the cop.

   "Imagine if he did though." I joked causing Stu to glare at me.

   "Look, we arrest a lot of people. We cannot analyze everything. All right?" The cop shrugged.

   "Well, what do you expect us to do with this guy?" Phil quickly asked.