the hangover 2

chapter eight

   "This monkey isn't just normal monkey." Chow told us as we sat in his car. We observed the monkey who was perched above a building smoking a cigarette.

*BEEP BEEP* we heard a car honk across the street, which was a signal for the monkey.

"Think of him as monkey drug mule. He take coke to buyer..." Chow explained while the monkey handed the men their coke, "And deliver cash to dealer..." The monkey then started crawling over to a dealer and handed him the cash, "He middleman. Dealer never handle drug directly. He clean."

"That's terrible." Stu muttered.

"That's not terrible. What you talking about?" Chow whipped his head towards Stu, "It's fucking genius. You ever see monkey go to jail?"

"It's actually quite impressive. Sad, but impressive." I mumbled.

"See, Sophie get it." Chow chuckled, "Anyway, we just signal monkey for deal, he come close... we take his vest and that's that." He explained the plan, "Maybe get some blow too. You know, just bump."

"No. No more bumps, Chow." Phil sternly told him.

"Kay, this is ridiculous." Chow whispered. He turned his head outside the window and attempted whistling to the monkey, which he was horrible at, "Mr. Chow can't whistle. One of you signal monkey."

"I got this." I stopped Stu before he could do it. I rolled the window down, let the loudest whistle out, and the monkey started making his way towards us.

"Wow, Soph. You're really good at whistling." Alan complimented me and I smiled at him.

"Sophie's good at using her mouth for anything." Phil quickly said smirking at me.

"Phil!" I giggled his name and he winked at me.

"Ew. Now is definitely not the time." Stu cringed.

"Why you mad? You miss ladyboy?" Chow asked Stu.

   "Can we please not bring that up!" Stu shouted annoyed.

   "Shhh, monkey coming." Chow shushed Stu as he held a roll of money out the window.

   "How'd we wind up with a monkey anyway?" Phil asked Chow.

   "Well, I needed some blow and Alan thought he was cute, so we stole him." Chow shrugged. We watched the monkey as he climbed across a power line and finally made it to our car, "So stupid." Chow laughed as the monkey reached for the roll of money, which he held onto, trapping the monkey, "Stu, ready to grab vest?"

   "I- okay. I just grab it?" Stu nervously asked.

   "Yeah, just do it, Stu. Just do it." Phil quickly muttered.

   "Hey, monkey!" Alan loudly said with a smile on his face.

   "Shut up." I whispered.

   "Alan, shhh!" Phil shushed him.

   The monkey looked at us worriedly and instantly turned his head towards the two dealers. Before we knew it, he started screeching. The two dealers stood up staring at us.

   "Fuck!" Phil shouted.

   "We gotta go right now!" Chow yelled as hit the gas. The second we started driving, Stu quickly grabbed the monkey, and he screeched loudly.

"Pull that fucking monkey in!" Phil screamed at Stu.

"I'm trying!" Stu squealed as he held onto the monkey, which was wiggling wildly, "Sophie, help me!"