I told him, he wasn't his so I wouldn't ruin his life

Two years ago I went to a party. At this party of course like most that I had been to there just happened to be alcohol and drinking and all that fun stuff. I never really was one of the people who liked to get completely trashed. I didn’t see the point in purposing losing control of your body for fun; it just didn’t seem like the right thing to do. Of course though on this one night my best friend, A.J convinced me to have a couple drinks just to loosen up.

“One drink or two won’t kill you Evan.” She told me practically eight times before I finally gave in. Then one drink lead to two and two lead to three and three lead to five shots of vodka and two cups of rum and a dash of coke. To say I was a light weight would be a complete understatement. I don’t really remember what happened that night. I remember dancing with a really cute guy, I remember going upstairs with said cute guy, and I remember waking up in bed the next morning with the cute guy. Let’s just say that morning when I woke up naked with guys also naked body wrapped all up and around mine, I was a tiny bit freaked out. I screamed bloody murder for a good minute before he slapped his hand over my mouth and mumbled a “Shut the hell up” before falling back to sleep.

Then of course I spent the next half hour trying to figure out my way out of the maze that was our two bodies. This guy would not let me go! I tried everything just to get him to let go and it didn’t work. Finally when he woke up he looked over and smiled. It was at that point that I finally realized who this guy was. His name was Gabe; he was a musician in a local band. He was A.J’s boyfriend’s twin brother. From what A.J has told me about him, he didn’t really sleep around so for him to be the one laying in bed across from me was well a shock. I mean I knew he was dating some girl named Maddy at one point but I really really hope I wasn’t the other woman.

“Gabe?” I asked blinking at him, his smile brightened and he nodded.

“Evan?” I laughed and nodded my head. I never had been this close to a guy before. It didn’t click in my mind what position we were in until a good five minutes into staring directly into his gorgeous green eyes.

“Oh uh can you let me go?” I asked him shyly hoping he would understand. Of course he did and blushed as he pulled away.

“Sorry, I didn’t uh plan for this…” He was so sweet. I mean who apologizes for this type of severely awkward situation?

“It’s okay… I mean what happened? Did we uh?” I really hoped the answer was no, but I knew deep down that it was yes.

“Yeah we did… it was your first time?”

What type of question is that I mean honestly! Why would you bring that up now?

This is where I stopped the conversation. Quickly I told him that it was nice seeing him, and I didn’t want things to be awkward so to forget anything happened, grabbed my clothes and then ran. 

I never saw him after that day, I heard from A.J that his band had taken off and he was going to be the next biggest thing. This was two months after our little one night stand. Two months of no period, and morning sickness. One day I took a stupid pregnancy test, and it was positive. I couldn’t believe it. I mean I guess I deserved it. I didn’t ask Gabe if he wore protection, I was too embarrassed that he took my virginity to say anything. The first person I told that day was A.J, and she was of course excited for me but at the same time worried. Gabe was going away in two days. She seems to think I had to tell him it was his kid because he would want to know. But I didn’t want to do that to him. I knew enough about him to know that being a rock star was his dream. I didn’t want to ruin his dream, his life.

So I chose not to tell him, which totally back fired when A.J went ahead and spilled the beans. I was lying on the ground watching the clouds when he ran up.

“Evan is it true? Are you having my baby?” Well wasn’t that a way to start? I really didn’t want to tell him. Gabe was a good guy; he would most likely cancel his dream to stay with his child. I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t take away his life, that wasn’t fair. So I thought up a lie, one that I would regret, yet I know was the best thing at that time.

“It’s not yours.” I told him with the best straight face I could muster. I saw confusion in his eyes.

“But wasn’t I your first… I thought?” before he could even continue I shook my head. “It’s someone else’s problem Gabe. Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh…” was that disappointment I saw on his face?

“It’s okay Gabe, I’ll be fine.” I kept shoving lie after lie at him. I felt terrible about it, but it had to be done.

A.J pitched a fit when she would out about what it of course. She told me how I was going to regret my decision. I didn’t realize it at the time… that she was right.