I told him, he wasn't his so I wouldn't ruin his life

Chapter 9

"What do you think about this one?"

I held up one of my dresses to show A.J. it was one of my longer but more form fitting dresses...one of the few I actually owned. She was sitting on my bed coloring with Carter. All I wanted was to look nice for this date but neither A.J. nor the eagles soaring in my stomach was helping at all.

"I like the first one better and I don't care if they show your boobs...that's what boobs are for to be just shown enough to get a man wanting...duh." Of course she would pick that dress. Sighing I placed the dress back in my closet and pulled out the white and black dress A.J. wanted me to wear.

"But I'm a mother...and this is not something a mother wears..." I bit my lip and placed it up against myself before looking in the mirror. I knew if I wore this dress Jesse would probably stare at me for ten minutes straight without being able to say a word.

"I don't care. Just wear the dress and black heels there done. Can you stop freaking out now?" I could hear her laughing and I frowned looking at her through the mirror.

"Just because some of us got lucky and found their perfect soul mate on the first try doesn't mean it will happen for all of us." I scolded her as I watched her eyes roll back into her head. Sighing I slipped the dress on and spun around a little bit just to see if I liked the way it felt.

"Finnnneee." I groaned before dragging myself to the bathroom. All of this effort was making me regret saying yes to this date in the first place...well only a tiny part of me really felt this way; probably the lazy part.  

After the huge issue with Gabe, Jesse had been coming over more frequently his excuses were because he just wanted to make sure my stupid ex wasn't stalking me. Though I did point out now instead of my stupid ex it was my stupid neighbor. That didn't bug him too much obviously since a few days ago he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner. I have to admit at first I was a bit reluctant. What if this wasn't meant to be? What if he was a completely different person as a boyfriend than he is when he's a neighbor? Of course there's also the huge possibility he realizes that he doesn't want anything to do with a woman who has a toddler. All of these things could make going out with him tonight a huge mistake but I was done tip toeing through my life. If going out on this date with Jesse helps me prove to myself that I need to move on and start having a life again then so be it but it really helps that he's so adorable...and handsome and just plain amazing.

"Moooommmmmy." A whinny voice called from my bed and I couldn't help but smile and I quickly finished putting on my makeup.

"Yes babbbbyy." I said as I walked over to him pulling him in to kiss his hair. There was no one on this earth that I loved more than my beautiful son. I could feel his giggles as I continued to shower him with kisses. "You and Auntie A.J. are going to have so much fun tonight. She's even going to share some Italian Ice with you." My baby boy squealed and clapped his hands trying to be as close to me as possible while trying to still color.

"You have all the numbers for poison control...police...uh the guys next doors number is also on the fridge if you need it..." I said trying to think about anything else I needed to tell her.

"Seriously? I've been watching him since he was a few days old I think I can handle one night...now he's going to be here any moment if you don't get out of here soon Carter will never let you leave." A.J. said laughing as she said the last part.

"Yeah yeah okay. I love you bug." I kissed his head one more time. "Mommy will be home later. I love you so much." Slowly I moved him off my lap and slipped on my shoes. By the time I had made it to the door of my room my best friend was doing her best to keep him occupied as he watched me leave the room. Sighing I waved and then walked down the stairs right as the doorbell rang. I think it was the first time in my life I had ever had perfect timing. So I grabbed a light jacket before opening up the front door.