I told him, he wasn't his so I wouldn't ruin his life

Chapter 4

Gabe came over on the days that I set aside for him during the two weeks he was still here. I could tell that Carter was becoming really attached to him. I didn’t want to tell him that Gabe was going to be gone for six months; it was going to break his little heart. Oddly enough Gabe and I had been in contact every day since the party, and something was growing between us. I can’t lie and say that I’m not attracted to him but I can’t do it. All we have is a child together, that’s all and we are not pulling our son through the roughness of a relationship that might not even work out.

Today was Gabe’s last day, so Carter and I are going to say bye to him at his bus. I figured it might be easier to have him see where his daddy will be and then take him away from the bus then have Gabe leave him. Maybe it will make it hurt less. I doubt it but at least I’m trying.

A.J is going to be there with me for moral support so I don’t do anything rash and stupid. Or well to take Carter away so I don’t have to, or well so I can talk to Gabe alone. I really want to tell him there’s no way in hell after being gone for so long he can just waltz back into Carter’s life whenever he wants. I just can’t, I know Gabe’s going to do the best he can no matter what. He bought Carter a motorized truck for his birthday, and he won’t put it down he takes it with him wherever he goes.

As we walked towards the bus where Gabe stood I held onto Carter’s hand. I didn’t want to let him go and run towards Gabe. I just couldn’t let him go, it felt like I was letting him go forever when I knew that it wasn’t true. I forced myself to let go of my son’s hand and watched as he sprinted towards his father. A solemn expression was set across his face as he realized that this was the last time he would see his son for six months. He and I know both knew what would happen. Carter would be lost and confused that his dad was no longer around. Gabe would lose any ground he gained.

I finally caught up to the two as Gabe was spinning Carter in a circle.

“I’ll be a phone call away buddy okay? I’ll call when I can bud.” He kissed my son’s head repeatedly before setting him down gently. I glanced over at him and forced a small smile. I didn’t want to do this, but it has to be done.

“Carter why don’t you go see the bus daddy is gonna be living in with Aunt AJ?” I suggested looking at AJ knowingly. She nodded getting the hint and took him inside to meet Gabe’s band mates.

“Look Evan...” He started but I stopped him with my hand.

“I’m not going to promise your relationship with him is going to be the same when you get back. But I can say that he does love you.” I sighed and looked up at him.

“I just want a fair chance. I know I’ll be gone for awhile. But I’ll call every chance I get. I don’t want to ruin what I have with my son. I love him and you.”

I stood there for a second just staring. I mean yes we have gotten a lot closer over the past two weeks but love? He thinks he loves me? Is he crazy?

“What? You don’t love me Gabe. You just think you do because of Carter. It’s okay we don’t have to be a couple to raise him.”

I tried explaining but he just shook his head and pulled me into his arms.

“I’ve always liked you Evan. Always seeing you with AJ; I just never acted on it. When we you know I saw it as a sign that we were meant to be. But then the whole kid thing happened and I was lost and confused until we spent so much time together.”

“It was like five days out of two weeks!” I tried to reason with him, a guy like him did not get with single moms like me.

“No Evan, you have to understand. I want there to be an us. Please please think about it while I’m gone. And give me a decision when I get back.”

His face only a few inches from mine begging me to agree.

“I’m not promising you anything. But I’ll give you my decision when you get back.” At that point his smile had to be a mile wide.

“I can deal with that.”

What was I going to do? I mean yeah I have feelings for Gabe but I know that we’re betting as just friends. There is no way that it would work with us. I couldn’t deal with him being gone half of the year. I don’t know why I’m subjecting my son to the same torture.

As I was in the middle of my mind chat when soft lips brought me back to the present world. Gabe was kissing me, I felt the fire starting in my stomach and work its way up to my lips where it tingled and crackled sending sparks through my entire body. I kissed back without even thinking, my brain going into auto pilot that was until his hands wrapped around my waist and I pulled back.

“Too fast… too fast.” I mumbled moving as far as possible. “Time to say good bye to Carter.” I mumbled and walked onto the bus.

After Gabe said his goodbyes I had to carry Carter out due to the fact he was screaming and crying so loud. He knew daddy was going to be gone for a long time and he didn’t know how to deal with it. But what two-year old would? I finally got him home and in bed, the only good thing was he tired himself out from crying so much it was easy to put him to bed. Here I was lying in bed wondering what Gabe was doing; not really thinking of anything other than the fact that there is a chance I could have feelings for him.

I cried for a good few hours before the thunder storms hit and Carter started whimpering. I dragged myself out of bed and brought him back into my room to sleep with me. He needed me as much as I needed him even though it was for two different reasons. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you sooo much for all who have read and commented and fanned and all that stuff. You have no idea how muc that really means to me. I feel horrible about the wait but I should be updating soon. Starting the next chapter will be six months later, there is going to be bits and pieces released of what happenbed during those months but I'm not going through the entire time.

Thank you again for everything!!!!!! xD I love you all!