Seeking Refuge | Neteyam

Chapter Thirteen

My parents' bodies laid in my arms, their soulless eyes looking into the oblivion. Blood covered my body as it dripped from theirs—the crimson liquid felt more cold than warm. My mouth hung open, cries erupting from the depths of my heart. But everything was silent. Not even the faintest sound could be heard, although I felt my throat aching from my screams.

"No!" My voice finally came out.

I shot up before my eyes even opened, looking around to see nothing but the darkness of our home. My breathing was erratic and my chest was tight, as though all the weight of the world was crushing my heart. Drops of tears continued to stream down my face, mixing in with the sweat that had formed during my sleep.

I placed my face in my hands and brought my knees to my chest.

Deep breaths, Ayn'at. Imagine a flickering flame. 

Despite my efforts at keeping my heart rate at bay, my hands were still shaking. I looked around anxiously, hoping to find someone awake. But the moment my eyes landed on a peaceful, sleeping Neteyam, all those ideas left.

He laid beside me, the blue fluorescent lights from the sea outside cascading onto his skin. He looked so calm.

When I looked to my right, I found Tuk laying in the comfort of Neytiri's arms. They, too, looked at peace.

Despite my mother's words repeating in my mind, reminding me to let others help me, I ignored them. With a shaky breath, I stood up and walked out. I didn't know where my feet were taking me, but I just wandered throughout the village. Stars filled the night sky as the lights in the sea glowed from below. Sounds of waves softly crashing onto the shore echoed around the village, adding on to the blissful atmosphere.

I found myself at the same dock Neteyam and I always happen to be at. Sitting down, I soaked my feet in the cold water as I looked up at the sky. The sun was just now appearing as I allowed myself to relax in the tranquility of the sea.

"The way of water has no beginning and no end," I recited quietly, closing my eyes as I took deep breaths. "The sea is around me and in me. The sea is my home, before my birth and after my death. Our hearts beat in the womb of the world. Our breath burns in the shadows of the deep. The sea gives and the sea takes. Water connects all things," I took a deeper breath, my parents' smiles flashing in my mind, "life to death, da-"

"Darkness to light." My eyes shot open as I turned to see Aonung standing behind me. He looked down at me with a soft face before his eyes widened. His hands flew up and waved around, "Sorry- Sorry! I didn't mean to- Do you want to be alone? I can leave."

My lips curled up into a smile, slowly turning into a laugh. I've only ever seen him be serious, so seeing him flustered was funny. Seeing me laugh, his  frantic face softened as he let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, I saw you leave your tent in a hurry so I got... curious. But now that I see you are crying..."

I splashed water at him, quickly wiping my face. "I'm not crying, skxawng."

"Right..."

I stared at him before letting out a sigh. "I was thinking about my parents."

He grew stiff at the topic, his jaw clenching as he fiddled with his hands. "I am..." he gave me a look before loosening up, "I am sorry for making fun of you. I do not know what I was thinking and I am sorry. I can assure you it will not happen again, to you... or the Sully's."

I gave him a small smile and nodded my head, "It's okay."

"Ayn'at!" I tilted my head to the side, seeing Neteyam as he quickly made his way over. His eyes flitted between me and Aonung, and I noticed his entire demeanor change just the slightest. When he got to us, his lime pools looked into mine longingly. "Are you okay?"