Seeking Refuge | Neteyam

Chapter Fourteen

Tonowari looked between each of us before his eyes landed on Tsireya again, giving her a cold stare. "I taught you better, daughter." Aonung's jaw clenched, and his eyes fell into his lap.

I felt my blood boiling, and without realizing what I was doing, I spoke up. "All do respect, sir. I do not understand why you're pinning all the blame on her."

"Ayn'at," Neytiri spoke behind me, more as a plead than a command.

"What?" Tonowari scoffed, turning to look at me. But the moment his eyes landed on my teary face, his expression softened. Tsireya's gaze turned to me, tears falling down her face as a tiny gasp left her mouth. Neteyam gave my knee a tiny squeeze as Aonung looked to me questioningly. And Neytiri was now right behind me, a hand hovering over my back.

All the attention was on me.

"Aonung was there, too, sir. But you're putting the blame on one child. It is not fair." Something was stirring in my gut and it made me feel extremely queasy. Despite Ronal's harsh glare on me, I continued. "In fact, I do not think it is fair at all for you to have harsh judgement when you have not seen it with your own eyes. How can you speak truth if your truth is based on rumor?" I looked at Ronal, making eye contact and ensuring that she could see the tears staining my face. "You said it yourself. He bonded with Payakan. So he saw it for how it was. He knows what he knows."

The woman's face fell as she turned away. When I looked to Tonowari, he held the same expression, his eyes glued to his lap. "You speak wisely for a child." He looked up at me, his voice louder and asserting his dominance once more. "Matter not, you all still disobeyed orders."

I scoffed, "Right." A stray tear rolled down my cheek as I wiped it away.

He looked at me before looking around and waving everyone off. "Leave. She stays." Reluctantly, they all followed orders. Neteyam gave me a longing look and gently patted me knee as he left.

"Be respectful... and be strong," Neytiri whispered into my ear before walking away.

 I felt my chest tighten as I looked back to the chief. "I am sorry about your parents."

I stiffened once more. "I do not need your pity... sir." And I don't need you to yell at me again either.

His jaw tightened. "It was not my intention to sadden you."

"As I am sure it was not your intention to scream at us," I mumbled.

Ronal's harsh glare shot at me. "Child-"

Tonowari held a hand out and she backed down, turning back to whatever she was doing. He looked at me once more. "I understand your pain, child. Losing your parents leaves a different kind of scar. And I apologize for reopening that wound."

When I looked into his eyes, they held so much sincerity that I felt my walls crumble down. My shoulders fell forward as a few unexpected tears escaped my eyes.

When I didn't say anything, he cleared his throat, "That is all. You may go now."

I nodded. Without a second thought, I stood up and left his home. As soon as I was out of seeing distance, I ran. I ran as fast as I could, not knowing where my feet were bringing me. Tears flew out of my eyes as they went with the wind. 

And suddenly, I was where our Ikran were. It was the only place on this island that reminded me of home. The area was surrounded by trees, while rock and soil found a home beneath my feet.

Laea's head tilted as she looked at me—her skin began to blend in with the purple sky behind her. She slowly made her way towards me but stopped short. I was about to walk over to her myself, but I felt a hand land on my shoulder.

I screamed and jumped forwards, turning to discover the culprit. But when my eyes landed on the familiar green orbs and soft expression, I broke down. My body instantly fell into Neteyam's, sending him backwards as he stumbled to catch his footing. He held me as I sobbed, flashbacks of my dream flowing through my mind.

"Shh, shh shh," he hushed, rubbing his hand along my back. He lowered us to the ground and pulled me closer to him.

I hadn't cried this hard since the night he convinced me to move in with the Sully's. 

My heart ached like a spear was lodged into my chest. "I miss them," I got out through sobs.

"I know," he mumbled.

"I feel like I can't be loved anymore," I admitted. "It feels like all the love people had for me died with them. And I know it's not true, but I just feel so numb. I have so much love to give but it's like it's locked away and that makes me push people away. I ju--"

He gently lifted me off him and held my chin in his hand. "Ayn'at." Locking eyes with me, he looked deeply into my own. Something was in his gaze that I couldn't point out, and suddenly the tears stopped. "I. Love. You."

Another tear drop left my eye as I stared at him, completely at a loss for words. But then my lips curled up into a smile. "I love you, too."

He looked at me before sighing. "You give so much love, Ayn'at. And so many people give love to you. Whether you realize it or not. Anyone would have to be a skxawng to not love you."

The pain in my heart eased up as I let out a small laugh. "I could say the same about you."

He smiled and reached behind him, pulling out two bracelets. They were strands with various seashells strung on them, each shell containing a different beautiful design. My face lit up; though I didn't know what to make of it, so I looked up at him questioningly.

His smile grew wider as he took my hand and placed one of the bracelets into my palm. "Remember how I disappeared yesterday after we talked?"

"Yes?"

"I went to go ask Kiri and Tuk to help me make bracelets," he explained, looking into my eyes. "I told them it was for you and me. They wanted to make it themselves but I told them that I wanted to do it—that it would be more special if I made it myself."

Something between an awe and a sob left my mouth as he finished the sentence, causing yet another tear to leave my eyes. He reached his hand up and wiped it away, leaving his palm resting on my cheek. "Stop crying," he laughed. "This is supposed to be a special moment." 

I leaned into his hand, looking longingly into his eyes. He spoke softly, "After you told me about the bracelets for your family, I decided I wanted to make bracelets for us." He held up his bracelet in his other hand, "These bracelets symbolize our love."I felt all my walls fall in that moment—every wall I built to protect myself from pain since my parents' died. In that moment, I realized that all I wanted was him. All I wanted was to stop withholding my love and give it to him—give it to his family; our family. After all,  I was always a Sully according to Jake. Another tear streamed down my face, and he moved his thumb to wipe it away. "I thought I said to stop crying. You are going to make me cry."

I giggled.  "I can't help it. I love you too much."

We both laughed, the sound warming up my body. I pulled my face away, looking at the bracelet in my hands. It was beautiful.

I wrapped around my wrist, right above my bracelet that represented my family's love. When I looked over at him, I noticed he already put it on—quicker than I did. He leaned forward and kissed me. It was deeper than any of our other kisses, and it was just full of love. When we pulled away, huge smiles were on both of our faces.

A screech cried out behind us. I whipped my head around to see Laea and Neteyam's Ikran playing. The other Ikran flew higher into the trees, leaving the two to have fun. I smiled at the sight, loving that in every way, mine and Neteyam's lives were connected.