One day, she'll be okay

Change?

"Morning Dana" mother said while she opened my curtains. The sunlight gave me an instant headache. Why can't I just have a day off?

Today is going to be another useless day.

I still needed to wake up, "Just leave me here."

Mom sighed. "Hun you know we can't let you stay here." She looked at me with some emotion that I cannot place. It looked like she was a mixture of tired and not wanting to fight. To be honest, I am tired too.

"Yeah I know." I sat up straight in my bed and I expected to be left alone but that was not the case today. Mother took place on the edge of my bed. She had her hand on my leg for some kind reassurance.

I was now annoyed. I know she means it well but I just don't have the energy for this today. "Mom what is it? Spit it out."

"Hotch wants me back in the field."

I look at her confused. "I thought you were cleared a few weeks ago?"

"Well yeah but I only did the cases here in DC so I didn't have to travel. There haven't been much cases lately as well. We worked on one case here and that took a lot of our time. I just wanted to make sure that you would be okay with me traveling."

"Yeah that's fine. Ill stay with Garcia or JJ when you have to leave."

Mom gave me a kiss on my forehead and stood up, "Alright hun, let's eat some breakfast."

I just nodded and put some more appropriate clothes on. Today I was feeling some black flared jeans that fitted perfectly and just a black hoodie. I really should get some clothes with more color in it but who the hell cares?

When I came downstairs I was greeted by JJ who now has completely moved in. I know it is a big change but I have a feeling that it will be fine. Mom came to me about week ago and asked if it was okay for JJ to move in. I told her that I would love that. JJ and I are still really close but I do have trouble with calling her mama, I know I suggested it but sometimes it still feels weird.

Infront of me is a bowl of yoghurt with some strawberries and raspberries. My eating still hasn't improved which totally sucks but mom and JJ help me a lot. This breakfast is better for me than some eggs or a sandwich that's why I have been eating this so that I still have something in my stomach.

When the clock hits eight am, we have to go.

For some reason I felt okay today and I haven't felt this in a really long time. It is a neutral feeling. Not sad or depressed. Not happy or moody, just neutral.

"Mama can we go to Starbucks before we have to sit at the office all day?" JJ was driving and I sat next to her in the passenger seat and mom sat in the back. I have been getting car sick lately and when I sit in the front I have no trouble with that.

Mama smiled, "Yeah of course! But we have to go through the drive through because I don't feel like getting out."

"Alright thanks."

I got a iced caramel macchiato and mom got her black coffee as usual, mama wanted something sweet so she ordered the same as me just not iced.

After a short fifteen minute ride, we have arrived at the headquarters of the FBI.

Mama and mom walked into the bullpin together, hand in hand. I just followed behind. Quickly I notice Spencer by the coffee machine, pouring in way to much sugar as usual. I just walk straight to him, "Hey Spence, pour me a cup would you?" I said whilst giving him a hug.

"Hey you, yeah of course." He let go of our hug and started to pour some coffee in my cup, "how do you feel about a good old game of chess?"

"yeah why not, its not like I have anything else to do." We walk to the briefing room where spencer sets the chess board up and I just stand in front of the window, looking at my mom and Derek, they were having a conversation about god knows what.