blood red // sal fisher x reader

I THINK I'M LOST AGAIN

⟼

I've never felt this tired
Have you ever seen a grown man cry?
I'm anxious as fuck and my brain
Is a puddle of hope and narcotics combined

⟻

You felt arms tightly wrap around your body. His embrace was loving, warm, comforting. It offered you everything you thought you needed at that moment.

But it wasn't enough.

James whispered encouraging words to you as he ran his fingers through your hair and waited.

The small ziplock sitting on your dresser stared right back at you-- tormenting your every feeling, clouding your every thought, daring you to do something.

You averted your eyes from it to James, shame written all over your face. His showed nothing but compassion. The sigh that left your lips was dragged out when you finally spoke, "I can't, I'm gonna need you to do it for me."

But James just shook his head, not moving in the slightest. He pressed his lips to your forehead, smiling sadly against you, "You can do this, muffin. I trust you."

So you nodded, even though you felt far from confident. Your eyes returned to your dresser, once more fixing on the object of your distress.

"Okay," You looked up at your boyfriend, seeking the reassurance only he could give you. Taking one step away from him, you reached an arm out for the ziplock, holding it in your closed palm firmly, "I can do this."

You kept repeating that phrase to yourself like a mantra in hopes of convincing your brain that you were stronger than you really were. Truth be told, wasn't James there, you would've accepted defeat already.

Actually, scratch that-You wouldn't even be trying to get rid of your drugs, in the first place.

But he was there, and you had promised to be better. Not only for him, but for yourself. You knew you had been going down a dark path again, but your lack of self-awareness and the fact that you had no fear of dying would've never allowed you to seek the help you needed.

So when you flushed the remaining of your narcotics down the toilet, an overwhelming sense of relief and pride washed over you; so much that you felt tears rolling down your cheeks before even realizing you were crying.

When you looked at James, the large smile on his face caused butterflies to start batting their wings wildly in your stomach. You couldn't help but smile back, jumping into his arms.

"You did it." He whispered against your hair, hugging you tightly. "I'm so proud of you."

He loved you so much.

╳

"I love her so much."

Sal repeated for what felt like the 1000th time. He paced around his room, running his hands through his hair and spilling out his every feeling. Crying so hard he knew he'd have the worst headache of his life soon enough.

Ash and Larry just sat and watched, not sure of what they could do to help.

Not that he even wanted help. He wanted you.