Reminiscing

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Sometimes I still think about the moments
that subtly helped me cope.
They weren’t monumentous,
they aren’t etched in stone 
for tourists to view 
or for historians to decipher,
but they are the little things
that meant so much to me.
I look back and sort of
desire to have them back,
why, though?
Possibly because those were the moments
that became all that I knew.
They have become a familiarity to me
to remember that the darkness within me
had peaks of light.
If I had realized then 
that I wasn’t so alone,
would I be a different person now?
Or because I cried out,
wondering why this was all happening to me,
asking God “why me? why me?”
helped me to now see
I will never be alone,
nor do I truly want to be.
God was with me then when I couldn’t see Him,
when I wish I could have,
but now I know that He will always be with me,
when I can sense Him or not.
Though I look at the memories with a
tearful smile,
I will choose not to look at the past
as something better,
but as a learning experience,
and something I can lend
to someone else.

Though I look at the memories with atearful smile,I will choose not to look at the pastas something better,but as a learning experience,and something I can lendto someone else

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