Chapter Twenty

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Christmas Day

"Merry Christmas!" Everyone says at the same time and they all seems excited.

I excuse myself and climb over Donovan and go to the living room and sit there.

I'm cold but I don't care, all I can think about is the terrible memories I have attached to Christmas.

I look at the Christmas tree and look at all the presents underneath.

Oh how I wish I could've had one last beautiful Christmas before I became an adult.

I can feel someone behind me but I don't acknowledge them.

It's Donovan, I can smell his cologne as he gets closer to me.

I feel something go over my head. It's a hoodie and I know this because Donovan tells me to put my arms through and I do.

He leaves and I'm just sat in this hoodie, that's clearly his, staring at this beautiful Christmas tree.

I stand by the window next to the Christmas tree and look outside, where the snow had settled and would start again in a bit but right now, I just listened to the wind.

Does Donovan remember he kissed me? On the neck? Over and over again? He knew what he was doing in the moment but did he know he did it later on? Did he purposefully have sex with a girl afterwards to grind my gears? Why was I letting him get on my nerves?

I sit back down and smack my fist against my leg, hard. It hurts and I do it again and again until I feel ready to go back into the dining room and I do.

When I get back, I climb back over Donovan and sit away from him but he moves closer to me each time I do.

The back door opens and everyone is confused.

"Who is that?" Paisley says and Maisie and Dacre walk in.

I stand up and climb back over Donovan and hug Maisie and she hugs me back.

Everyone else greets them and I sit back down. I'm still standing when the door opens again and I cover my mouth in shock and everyone who looks at me starts to get confused.

Damien stands up and when he sees who it is, he hugs his dad, tight.

When everyone sees their dad they all start to hug him and get emotional.

I greet him too and he says how glad he is to see me doing well. It means a lot to me.

When everyone is seated, which means that I'm basically on top of Donovan because of how squished we are now, they all start drinking and I look at him who's eyeing the alcohol up.

He looks back at me and I shake my head.

The topic of his father and wishing me well is key because while his dad was used to treating, usually orphaned and neglected, youth who couldn't afford health services, I went to his remote clinic and was put in his care and you can imagine he was scared and concerned for my well-being.

He established that I was struggling with depression even though he's a medical doctor and he already knew I was a severely anxious kid.

He knew that I had a drinking issue at 14 and I think he knew that something was wrong but he had no proof. He did call CPS but it was too late, I already had been caught for a crime so they claimed my stories were lies even though he insisted I didn't tell him anything.

I know he kept my secret from his family, not just because HIPPA told him too but because he knew how much I'd appreciate it. He told me, no, promised me that when he flew back here at that time, that he'd tell no one.

He kept his promise and I appreciate it.

He'd not been home in a while, I can tell from the way he was being smothered my his children and wife.

It made me miss my dad so much and my mom too.

Everyone starts to stand up and go to the living room and when Donovan stands up he holds down on my leg and grips it to stand up.

Why would he do that?

I stay in the dining area and put my knee up and lean against it.

I stare at the floor while I'm in this deep trance and when someone walks in front of me, I don't want to look at him.

"Come and join us." Donovan says as he pulls me up and I just walk to the living room.

They all hand me a load of presents and I'm shocked.

"I didn't get anything for any of you guys." I'm a little embarrassed. "I can't accept these."

"Nonsense, we gave you no pre-warning and we already have everything we need." Intake them and they all continue to drink some more and I start to feel sleepy.

I close my eyes and lean against the back of the sofa and eventually I'm knocked out cold.

***

I wake up in a weird place but when I see the Christmas tree, I'm glad to know I'm at the Shepherd's but I'm lying down with a blanket over me.

I can feel someone's arm wrap around me and I realise I was sleeping, on top of Donovan.

I try to sit up but his arm is wrapped right around me.

I try again but I'm stuck and after ten minutes or so of being awake, I fall back asleep because I sleep easily and his body was warm and being warm made me even more sleepy.

When I wake up for real, Donovan is gone and I get up while I still can and take the presents for me back to my house and message Paisley that I'll be back later.

I open them all.

I get some perfume, a cute hoodie, pearled candles - which are amazing for someone forgetful like me, a matching tracksuit set along with another hoodie and a necklace.

This necklace is real gold, it says so on the certificate and when I test it a little bit, it's real gold.

It's so beautiful and it looks expensive, it has my name on it and it's just so amazing.

Maisie sends me a message for when I needs back and I start to get ready. At dinner, they still wear casual clothes so I just shower and complete 3 more assignments which were incredibly easy and submit them straight away.

I didn't play around when it came to work, I'd probably forget if I didn't submit them relatively quickly.

I take a little nap before going back to the Shepherd's house.

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