Trouble Times Two

Chapter Forty-Six

Monday

I wake up when Donovan shakes me awake and my head is thumping and throbbing in ways that are make me feel catastrophically ill.

I can barely walk but manage to get off the plane at least and make it to baggage collection.

We then go to the collection and see as Maisie, Dacre, Carter and Delaney wait for us and wave at us.

I wave back but I'm so tired and sore and achey and pissed off.

I answer all their questions and I truly appreciate their love and care and affection but I can't do it.

I go into my house and Jess greets me excitedly and she asks me all sorts of questions which I do take some time to answer.

She makes us some spaghetti which I eat gratefully before making my leave as it was so late now.

I go upstairs and take a shower and brush my teeth before collapsing in my bed and sleeping.

***

I wake up to my alarm and get up and go to my gym to work out. I was jet lagged as hell but I had an appointment with Marie and Simon.

I actually don't know what was happening. I was changing.

It wasn't a good change.

I was horrendously ill after I drank so I was never doing that again and even the smell of Donovan's weed made me feel sick.

It was like I was pregnant which obviously wasn't the case as I hadn't had sex since I was sixteen, maybe even before that.

I just felt like melting into a ball into the floor so I go into Jess' room to talk to her and I nearly scream when I see who's in her room.

Her boyfriend is Vincent.

Oh my God. OH MY GOD.

"What the fuck." I scream before I shut the door and run back to my room and lock the door.

I go onto my balcony and with trembling hands light a cigarette and smoke it as I try not to cry. I shake slightly as I think about how my twin brother was my best friends boyfriend and I knew why she couldn't tell me and I knew why Arthur would never have told me who he was.

I'm going to be sick.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

Donovan steps out onto his balcony and looks at me but I ignore him as I rock back and forth.

"You're such a brat! You mooch off your parents money and drink cigarettes and buy whatever you like. You're spoilt as hell." I start hyperventilating.

"Fuck off Donovan!" I shout and lock my door before jumping off the side of the balcony and start running so I can get rid of my panic.

I can't even believe this.

I'm sure this is not how Jess wanted me to find out and I'm not mad at her but seeing Vincent makes me angry. I'm mad at him and every one of my siblings for what they did to me.

I run to murder alley after grabbing some flowers and a candle and sit down by my parents memorial. I light the candle and put the flowers down.

I look up and two very familiar people look at me.

"You're the girl. The one whose parents were murdered here." I nod.

"You're the people who called the police and comforted me before I got taken away." They nod. "You guys don't understand how grateful I am for that."

"We do. We saw your ad when it first came out but we chose to leave it be. We revisit here everyday in hopes that we'd see you. We don't want money. We want to know if you're okay. How's life treating you?" I laugh.

"Not very well. I'll be okay though. I always get better, I'll be better again. Eventually. I need to go but give me your number and I'll be in touch as soon as I can." They do so willingly and I say goodbye once again and walk to the church and light two candles for both of my parents and then light four more for my grandparents. I suddenly find myself lighting ten more on top of that. One for each sibling that I'd lost.

I start praying. The last time I prayed was when I was forced to say one on my last day at wilderness as they had 'Christian values.' There was nothing Christian about them.

I can sense eyes on me.

"Leave me alone. Both of you." I say as I know that both boys are right here.

I can smell Donovan and I can see Vincent in my peripheral vision.

"It was very irresponsible of you to jump off the balcony." Donovan says and I kiss my teeth.

"Don't talk to me about irresponsible Donovan. There's a lot of stuff I've done in my life and that's not even close to irresponsible. One of my worst mistakes was ever even learning your name. For tolerating your shit." I try to stay calm.

"Great language to use in a church." Vincent says and I turn around so fast I nearly get whiplash.

"You have some fucking nerve Vincent following me hear and then patronising me!" I whisper shout.

"Who's he?" Donovan asks. I then turn to him.

"Well Donovan you know how when we had to get to know each other, which you never actually did because you were too busy acting like the fool you are, you read my family section in Howlett's office and asked if I had any siblings and I said no? I lied." I turn back around.

"You lied? Why would you lie?" Donovan asks.

"I'd like to know too." Vincent says and I shake my head.

"You want to know who I lit candles for Donovan?"

"Sure."

"I lit sixteen. I lit ten of them for my siblings. One for each. Sade, Madge, Holly, Felix, Rhett, Clark, Ellis, James, Vincent and Angel. You see Angel is the only sibling of mine who's actually dead but the rest of them are dead to me as well." I feel my leg starting to shake.

"And the other six?" He asks.

"Four for my grandparents." I respond.

"And the last two?" He asks but I can't even say it.

"Oh God, why did you do this to me. Why..." I whisper.

I stand up and walk back to my house as I look at the area around me and Donovan walk behind me, at varying distances as they clearly were not very pleased with one another for hurting me.

I hate them.