Trouble Times Two

Chapter Sixty-Two

Monday

I'm sort of half asleep, half awake, I can feel Donovan's hand gripping mine so tightly that I'm scared to sweat in case he lets go.

I'm also constantly looking at the update TV through half peeked eyes but nothings happening.

She got to six centimetres dilated at around eight and then stagnated again. It was nine now though, so I guess maybe she didn't need a c-section, which was good as it meant she was less likely to have further complications, she was just in a very long period of labour which she had finally come out of.

When my mom was having Sade, she was in labour for twenty hours.

I'm trying to look at my watch but my left arm is within the confinements of Donovan's and I, for one, don't want to let go.

Finally, another update comes through on the screen, seven centimetres dilated and I start to sit up.

She's making a lot more progress now.

I want to look in the blinds but that feels a little personal now and also, I really don't want to let go of Donovan's hand.

A nurse knocks and walks in and I pretend to just be getting up to look at him.

"I hope everything is okay in here?" He asks and I nod. Donovan is actually asleep again and couldn't let go of my hand if I wanted him too. "I just came to tell you from Miss Rosling will be going through with the natural birth as having a c-section when she is finally dilated so far along would pose risks to her and her babies. She said she's going to go ahead with the epidural." I nod and shake Donovan awake to tell him the news and he smiles and says that's good.

I suddenly feel super embarrassed that I'm holding his hand.

Again.

I can't let go, I'm so nervous about this whole situation that I physically can't let go or I feel as if I might die.

Hospitals also kind of scared me so that's why I'd been pacing these halls so much. Standing in one place meant that the anxiety would get to me quicker and I clearly couldn't handle that.

I start to feel tired again and I reflexively lie down on the sofa before immediately jumping up when I realise that Donovan is obviously there.

"I didn't meant to do that, sorry." I yawn at the end of the sentence. 

"I can see you're tired. If it helps you sleep, you can lay down." He says and I do so, getting comfortable.

He doesn't mind that I'm lying down in his legs and the whole width of the couch.

I try my best to get comfortable but just don't move in case I annoy him or something.

***

I wake up shaking and shivering and there's nothing around me.

I can hear a faint beep but I can't see past the black and I walk aimlessly in a circle.

"Help! Help me! Help! I need help! Someone hurt my parents! Someone hurt them! Help!" I run towards the sound but then it sounds like it's coming from behind then to my side and then everywhere.

I can't find the person.

I run and run and run and finally start to see something.

Two men run past me as if they don't see me and I see a girl on the floor.

"Hello? Are you okay? Excuse me, are you okay?" I tap the girl and she turns around and when I see her, I scream.

It's me. It's me on the ground, dead.