Trouble Times Two

Chapter Fifty

Friday

I sit out on my balcony, contemplating what I could with my life as I had so much time but so little desire these days.

A girl walks out onto the balcony, basically almost naked and I try to ignore her but she immediately starts to torment me. I don't even know who she is.

"Why are you on Donovan's balcony?" I ignore her. "Hello? Don't ignore me and answer the question."

A moment passes before she walks over to me and pushes, or tries to do so. She's so weak that she instead up just awkwardly tapping me.

"If you are Donovan's guest, you are allowed to be on his side of the balcony. Past the line, it's my balcony and my property. I'm telling you now, to leave." She doesn't move.

I sigh, get up and push her to Donovan's side.

"You bitch, you had no right to touch me! Donovan, come here right now!" She shouts and he does so. When he sees me, he knows that she's picked a fight with the wrong person. "She pushed me here! Get her arrested!"

I try not to laugh but fail as some air comes out of my nose and to no one's surprise, Donovan starts being a dick to me for somebody else's approval.

"Apologise to her." Donovan asks and I shake my head in amusement. "Dont be a prick, just do it."

"She put her hands on me first and was actively trying to hurt me, so no, I won't be apologising unless she apologises to me first. She should especially apologise to me because she harassed me on my own property." I stare at my nails as I wait.

I just see her scowling and watch as Donovan tries to think of a method of retaliation but comes short.

"This is why no one likes you." He says before he gets her inside and shuts the door.

What a blow to my truly massive ego. Meaning that had hurt me quite a lot.

I go inside and grab some supplies and a ladder to start rebuilding the fence that I had been putting off for all kinds of reasons.

My main reason was that I wanted to see Donovan to make sure he was okay.

I can tell now that, that had made his choice and it was abundantly clear that he didn't like me.

I wasn't going to help someone who didn't defend me and just fucked around with my emotions.

I start hammering back where the original partition was and I make sure it won't fly off this time. I also have to make sure I can open it, but I wasn't showing Donovan how to open it.

I would never allow him to be in the know because he always used information to his advantage. I don't know why I ever thought I could ever get along with him, why I thought we could ever be friends.

I grab a cigarette, light it and start smoking it and eventually I see the girl leave. She doesn't notice me as she's too occupied on her phone, but she at least had the grace to wave back to someone as she leaves.

I can hear Donovan saying bye and I roll my eyes and continue smoking the cig.

I don't know what to do anymore. I was on my way to early graduation and would be done with school within two to three weeks, maybe even earlier if I finished all my work, which I would.

Prom would be soon and I didn't really want to go but Aunt Tara would be so upset to not see me go. Arthur and Courtney wanted me to be there as well.

I love my family and would do anything within reason for them, so going to a stupid little event would be the least I could do, especially for all they've done for me.

There were a few things I was glad about this year, such as rekindling my relationship with Arthur and letting Jess move in with me but other than that, I had no real accomplishments.

I feel really melancholy as the clouds start to look over. It starts to spit down with rain.

I cover my outside stuff with its tarp and then go inside.

I go to the basement and play some Xbox but it feels really lonely and odd to be in this massive basement without anyone in here. It starts to make me feel lonelier than I already am.

I invite Jess to a party and she joins. We play all sorts of games together but I realise that nothing really compares to spending time with someone in actual, physical real life.

I wonder if I was just stupid for letting her go with Vincent, or whether I should have just let Vincent live here too.

I get up and uncover the pictures that I covered up.

Looking at the family pictures makes me feel sick and I remember why I was so scared to run into Holly when I was in Juneau.

I remember how terribly each of my siblings treated me and the burdens I had to carry for them. I cover the picture back up.

All I can think of is how I don't look the same at all. Even though the picture is covered, I can still see my ginger hair. I covered that up now. There's not even one bit of ginger peeking through, yet I wonder how much more abuse my hair can take before it breaks off and I'm left being a bald ginger teenage girl.

I dyed it when I started to get bullied for it, when I was super young, but my pale skin, freckles and green eyes didn't match my currently brown hair and I knew I'd have to get it coloured back soon.

I just had so much fear, and worry, in my heart. Things that I shouldn't have to worry about, things that people made me insecure about.

I'd hope that one day, that can change. That I can be me with no fear.