Peaches

XXIV

Adam had gently bathed me and clothed me in his t-shirt and boxers while Raphael was no where in sight. He always hurts me. It breaks me every time. I thought I was strong, the wall I build was unbreakable but every time he leaves me, abandons me, chooses another over me, the bricks become dust and Adams left to sweep up what's left of me.

Adam placed me gently on the bed and sat down next to me as a single tear dripped down my hot cheek.
"Why does he always hurt me?" I ask pleading to Adam for answers.
"I don't know peach, I guess he's not strong enough."
"Strong enough for what?" My voice breaking as more tears stream down my face.
"Strong enough to be the mate you deserve, strong enough to put you above all else, strong enough to resist you."

Silence fills the air for a moment as I reflect on the pain Raphael causes me. It stings like a rusty dagger to the chest. It spreads like an infection. To be hurt by one you love is a pain that lasts indefinitely.

Adam sighs. "Sometimes I think the reason we share a mate is because of our inadequacy. We're both broken pieces like a puzzle and together we make a mate good enough for one, for you."
"Adam, you're more than enough for me. Sometimes I wish that yo..." Adam quickly puts his hand over my lips.
"Don't say it, please don't say it." I nod and he lets go off my face.
"Where did he go?" I ask after a brief silence.
"For a run I guess, probably needed some time away."

Adam scoops me up in his arms and takes me out of the room, heading down the stairs.
"Let's watch trashy movies and order pizza okay?"
I nod into his chest.

Hours pass of Adam and I binging the Austin Powers trilogy while cuddling and stuffing our faces. It almost feels perfect.

I hear the front door open and my attention immediately diverts to the sound until I see a partially naked, dirty Raphael enter the living room. Before I catch his eyes, I nestle back into Adams chest and watch the tv screen but there was only one thing in this room I was really paying attention to. Adam gently kisses me on the forehead and gets up leaving me cold, missing his touch, so I lie down vertically on the sofa covered in blankets and pillows.

I could only sense what was happening behind me. Raphael and Adam left the room but stayed nearby. Adam was making sure I would hear them. I hear Adam's breath hitch. He takes one deep breath before calmly stating,
"Where the hell were you."
"I went for a run," Raphael replies sharply in a low disinterested tone.
"Why are you like this huh?" Adam's voice begins to get louder, his anger surfacing. "Do you have any idea what you put her through? How many more times do you have to hurt her to see that you're you... you don't deserve her." Adam's tone ends defeated. Regret dripping from his voice, his breathing quick. It had to be said but he didn't want to say it.
"I know that, don't you think I know that?" Raphael replies curtly.
"No I don't think you do!" Adam's voice begins to scream out, begging Raphael to really hear him. "You don't because you always disappear and leave me to pick up the pieces. Her pain is mine. You hurt me and her every time." There's a silence as Adam takes some deep breaths to calm himself. "I've seen her cry, bleed, vomit, and scream because of the pain you've caused her and I nurse her back to health every time just for you to break her again."
"I'll go..." Raphael says as the twinge in my chest becomes heightened, squeezing on my lungs.
"No, you're not going anywhere." Adam says in a commanding tone that gives me goosebumps. Adam pauses again. "You're gonna be better and you're gonna stick around." Adam's voice looses its anger and is replaced by sorrow. "Because I can't do this without you, I can't make her happy without you. She needs you and she needs you to stop breaking her because there's only so much damage she can go through before she's unfixable and I..." Adams voice breaks. "I can't loose her Raph I can't she's my everything and and and I can't live without her." I can tell Adams either in tears or on the verge of them. Hearing Adam break like that brings tears to my eyes. He's in pain. He needs me. Maybe I'm not good enough for him. Maybe my walls must learn to stay solid without Raphael...for Adam. The urge to hold Adam in my arms was overwhelming but I knew this wasn't about me. It was about them.
"What do I do?" Raphael asks, obviously distressed by this unusual display of emotion from his brother.
" Be there, go in there and make her believe everything will be okay. And make everything okay for once."
I hear footsteps, louder as they get closer. 
I bury my head into the pillow and pretend I am sleeping when I smell Raphael approaching, sweaty and dirty. He sits himself next to me and puts my feet on his lap.
He whispers, "I'm so sorry Reine, for everything, I'm so sorry." He pauses. "Please forgive me, I don't deserve it but please. I-I...I love you, I always have."
He loves me.
"You're so beautiful peach, even more beautiful than the last time I saw you and you'll be even more beautiful the next time. You get more and more beautiful each day." He leans forward and strokes my cheek. This is probably the most I've ever heard him say. I couldn't help a tear fall from my eye. My face felt sore and dry I'd cried so much. So many tears shed over this man. So many sleepless nights. Can I forgive him. Do I have a choice. I need him, I need both of them to feel complete and whole. How could I not.

I feel his protective eyes on me, watching me, making me feel safe. So safe I begin to drift off for real. My eyelids becoming heavy and sinking into each other, my body becoming limp and fragile. I felt uneasy. What happens now? Exhaustion hits me like a truck and all thoughts are casualties. I fade into black.