Intoxicated By Your Love

I'll Make You Mine

Lydia

I will get Enzo out of my mind, I need to, now that I know that he has a girlfriend I have to stop thinking about him or trying to flirt with him to make him fall in love with me. I'm getting him out of my mind, I'm not thinking about him, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

I'm repeating these words inside my head, trying to convince myself that Enzo will be just my classmate nothing else.

I walk to the class, and I see him in the hallway five steps away from me, so I say "good morning" to him friendly but he doesn't even bother himself to look at me, he's putting on his earphones as usual listening to that same song on the same volume.

I take my seat, and pull my notebook from my bag, waiting for Ms Clark to start the lesson, I've never wanted her to come to class so early as today, she needs to come now, I need to think about something other than Enzo.

Voices in my mind are saying don't look at him, don't think about him, but I had no intention to listen to them, I'm looking at him and I even start to think how could I convince the girl who is sitting next to him to switch places with me.

So I decided to text her and ask her directly.

Me: Let's switch seats!!
Carla: No!!

She doesn't accept she even seems annoyed by my message when she turned to look at me. Well, I can't blame her, who wants to give up on his seat when Enzo is sitting next to him, but I'm Lydia Watson nothing is hard for me.

Me: u have a crush on Mike, right??
Carla: why u're asking?!!
Me: I can talk 2 him 4 u, he was looking for a girlfriend the last time we talked.
Me: but u need to switch places with me.

She turns her head and I can see the doubt in her expression, she doesn't trust me so I give her a promise that I will talk to Mike.

I'm sitting in my new place, right next to Enzo, however, he doesn't seem like he noticed any change.

"From now on I'll sit next to you so I hope we pass a nice year full of fun and friendship". I say
"I really don't have any interest in being a friend of yours". His words were so harsh, it's more like he was aiming a gun at me, and he shoot towards my heart while I'm not wearing a bulletproof.
"Why you're being so mean to me, you act like I've killed the person that you love". As the last word comes out of my mouth, Enzo pushes his chair back aggressively and walks like an erupting volcano, I could even feel my skin virtually getting burned.

Enzo didn't come back, even when the lesson started, I had a hope he will come after his anger is over but he didn't.

I can't get Enzo, he's so hard to read, I've done nothing that would make him mad at me, nothing could ever explain his mean behaviour.

Whenever I try to get closer to him I feel like I'm receiving warning signs, that tell me to stay away from him, being next to him will only bring sadness and depression to my life, and with his mean behaviour he's making a wall of protection around his life, he doesn't want me to break it, he wants me to stay away from whatever is behind that shield, but I don't care if breaking that wall will let his darkness spread to my life, I don't mind.
I only want to know the reason behind his behaviour, this is not because of his girlfriend, he's not rude because of his loyalty, there's something else and I want to know it, that's my only willingness, for now, that's why I want to break that wall.

I sit with Nancy in the garden of the university, she's painting, preparing for her class project, and I watch Enzo sitting under a tree while he's smoking a cigarette and it's clear it wasn't the first one, he's been smoking since he got out of the class, I guess it's his kind of thing to calm himself down when he's angry. So if I count the number of cigarettes, I can tell that he was infuriated.

I've never liked smoky guys but Enzo is something else he makes it hotter and sexier, especially the way he let the smoke out of his nose, and his mouth. I wish I could be that cigarette so I can touch his lips, I want to feel the pressure that he makes it on that cigarette on my lips, I wish I could be that tree he's laying on so I can feel his warmth, I wish I could be that jacket he's wearing so I can hug him and never let him go.

"I can't get him out of my mind". I say to Nancy making a heavy sigh.

"Who?". Nancy asks while she kept drawing.

"Enzo of course".

She looks at me trying to figure out if I'm being serious and as she distinguished that I am, she drops her pen and laughs sarcastically.

"Lydia you're being insane, he has a girlfriend you need to stop thinking about him".

I can't control my feelings, not for Enzo, he became an obsession for me, no matter how he's treating me or the signs he's sending to me, I still want him, I'm loving everything related to Enzo, smoking, the colour black, the bad behaviour, accessories.

"They can break up, right?". I ask Nancy not seeking for a specific answer.

Nancy rolls her eyes rejecting to answer my question.

"Just answer me, yes or no?". I insist.

"if they're not living that infinity love, so they can break up". Nancy finally responds.

I don't think they're living that kind of infinity love, even if they are I don't want to believe it, if Enzo is a loyal boyfriend I want him loyal to me, not her.

I still have a chance. I say that in a listenable tone without noticing.

"You're not thinking about making them break up, right?". Nancy asks after she noticed that creepy smile on my face.

"No, why would I do that?".
She didn't believe me until I told her that I'm not the kind of girl who steal other girls' boyfriends.

No, I'm that kind of girl.

I go to my room, take my laptop and I create a fake Instagram profile and I send a friend request to Enzo.

I was aware that he won't accept it if I sent it from my profile.