Intoxicated By Your Love

Everything I Wanted

Enzo

I promised Lydia to quit smoking. It's been two days since I smoked my last cigarette. I know it's dangerous to stop immediately, but I want to become a good person as soon as possible. I want to turn into a guy who deserves Lydia's love and warm heart. I want to be worthy of dating her.

I sit under my usual tree. I'm keeping myself as far away as possible from my cigarette's box. I need to distract myself and stop thinking about taking back my box from Steve or buying a new one. I put my earphones on, and I listen to "Forever", the song that I wrote about Mia. Maybe this song can motivate me and make me remember who I am changing for.

I'm changing for Mia. I'm changing for my best friend. I'm changing for my first love. I'm changing for the people around me. I'm changing for my soulmate. I'm changing for Lydia. I'm changing for my love. I'm changing for a better life. I'm changing for peace.

My breaths are unstable. My hands are shaking. Coldness washes over my body. I'm hardly keeping my eyes open. My vision blurs once and clears once again. I'm drowning in sweat.

I suddenly spot Lydia coming out of the Music building. I should ask for her help. I tried to stop on my own for two days, but I guess I'm failing. She said she knows what to do. I won't be able to change if I keep her away. I must let her help me.

I'm letting her in. I'm trusting her. I should trust her.

Trust her, Enzo. 

Just do it!!

I take off my earphones. I call out her name, but she doesn't hear me. I'm not sure whether because I whispered her name or because she's focused on gathering with the person she's walking towards. I look at the end of the way she's walking in, and I see Cynthia standing there. I look back at Lydia, she looks serious.

She's going to fight with Cynthia for what she has done with Carl. I don't trust Cynthia. She can betray me to save herself. Lydia will know that I'm the one who sent Cynthia to her boyfriend. 

I'm fucked up! 

A huge cold iceberg will fall between me and Lydia. I'll lose her. She will hate me. I will be left alone again. 

I need to stop her.

I throw my phone away and I dash towards Lydia. I grab her hand before she can reach Cynthia.

"Where are you going?". I ask her under my panting.

"Just...to see, Nancy". She answers, startled by my sudden grip and she points in Nancy's direction who's walking towards us.

"What's up!". Nancy greets us.

What was I thinking? Why would Lydia call Cynthia out for making a move on her boyfriend after this long time? Lydia is even ignoring Carl. She kicked him out of her life. Why would she reread a page she has flipped?

I'm stupid.

While I'm scolding myself for the mistake I was going to make, Cynthia passes next to us. She greets us with a malicious smirk. She looks at Lydia up and down, then she slides her eyes to my hand which is still around Lydia's wrist.

"Hey, Enzo!". Cynthia greets me after running her hand to her neck and she plays with the necklace I gave her, raising her right eyebrow.

She knows!

She knows that I lied to her. She knows that the necklace doesn't belong to Lydia. She's passing next to us to see Lydia's reaction after seeing the necklace around her neck. Lydia does nothing because she has never seen that necklace in her life.