Intoxicated By Your Love

Untold Love

Lydia

"First love". Enzo declares." And when you are sober I'll tell you how it's special".
Then he asks Steve to take Nancy away.

That's it, this is the end of the road, I give up, Enzo has just made it clear, his heart won't open its door again.
I thought I was close, thought there were just inches separating me from being his girlfriend while there are miles between us.
Maybe Enzo is not meant to be mine, I need to stop trying to take what doesn't belong to me.

I didn't confess my love to him but that was an indirect rejection, and it shatters my heart.

I need to bury my love deep inside my heart, where I won't be able to find it, I'll give up on showing it, but I won't give up on it though.
I'll be his friend, I'll be his classmate, I'll be his partner in crime, I'll be the shoulder he lays on whenever he's sad, I'll be his bro.
I accept it, I'll stop trying to get him.

Enzo wipes out the drink that Nancy spilt on his shirt, suddenly I start feeling pain in my stomach, and my mouth is filled with saliva, my head is dizzy, and I'm about to vomit. I feel it coming out of my throat, but I hold it.

"Are you okay?". Enzo asks worriedly.
"I think I drank too much". I say under my cough.
"You think!". He giggles.

He stands up and suggests going back to the dorm but I refuse because I promised Nancy that we will stay out the whole night, so I tell him that coffee will help the drinking effects fade.

"Let's look for an open coffee shop then". He says sliding his hands under my armpits and then he lifts me.
"Okay bro!".
"Bro?". He inquires.
"Did I say it that loud?".
"Let's get you a coffee bro". He says directing my steps.

It's after midnight, all the coffee shops are closed, and the only place that we could buy from is 7-eleven.

I sit on a bench next to the market, waiting for Enzo.
He comes with two cups, I take mine and then he sits next to me.

"Better?". He asks.
"Yeah, thank you".
We're drinking our coffee silently, I need to come up with something to kill this quietness, I don't like it when he's calm, though it's his characteristic.

Think, think, think Lydia, you always have something to say, what's wrong with you now? Does his first love turn you dysarthric?

His first love? Enzo's first love?

Enzo and Mia, what kind of couples were they?

The only thing that I know about them is that he loved her so much and he didn't ever forget her, but how was she? What type of girl was his first love? Did she love him as much as he did? How did she die? Did he truly move over her death, or is he just pretending?
Being around Enzo makes me feel calm and contented, and I have no emotional conflicts within myself, his calm presence makes the atmosphere peaceful, but is that what he's feeling inside?

A million questions are spreading into my head, and they make me realize that I don't know anything about Enzo, I was immersed in thinking about making him mine, while I didn't ever value his emotions and what he's going through.
He's so good at hiding what he feels, his outside doesn't reflect his inner sentiments.

"How was she?". I ask him."Mia... I bet she was that chic type of girl".
Curiosity seduced me, I couldn't resist asking him about Mia, I wanted to know his ideal type.

"She was a tomboy actually, in our relationship I couldn't tell who was the man?". He answers.

Mia was a tomboy, not expected.
His eyes are smiling, and so does every part of his body.
I'm not jealous that she makes him happy even when she is not around, I'm delighted that she does because for me Enzo deserves all the happiness in the entire world.