Roach

Chapter 32

Ghost's mood has seemed to improved, which is nice. Our food arrived in a timely manner, enough for us to get another round or two of drinks. He got me something sweet, alcoholic, but it wasn't too strong. Between my food and my company, I think I only got a little tipsy.

Dinner was covered by Ghost. While I offered to pay half the bill he looked like he was going to bite my arm off. He holds onto my arm as we walk out. I know he didn't drink, especially when he's driving, but he feels unstable.

"That flight did a number on you... you're still limping."

Ghost looks at me, stopping us before the car, "I'll live, bug--"

"Simon. Please. If you're--"

He sighs, cutting me off. "My legs just been hurting. Just one of my burns. I'll be okay, I'll let you check it over when we get to your mums. Maybe we could draw a nice bath?" This wicked grin starts to come over his face.

"Oh?" I move to face him, my hands gently take his. "So you're putting it on for show? To get me to fall right into your plans?" A grin, alongside a blush, begins to form.

"No sir. There's no ulterior motives."

"That so?"

"Just so." He leans closer to me before I start to notice a blush in his face. He moves away and lets go of my hands. We move to the car in a tense little silence.

Ghost starts the car then takes off, leaving me to wonder why he's suddenly so awkward about this. We've flirted, or I think we have, before. Though when we do it now, now that we've admitted our feelings, he seems so shy about it. "Is he having second thoughts?" I think, glancing between him, the road, and the things passing us by. "He's only been with women before... I hope he's just nervous..."

"Gary?" Ghost finally questions once we break out of the city, on the highway to my mums.

"Yes Simon?"

"I'm sorry..."

"For?"

"Treating you like I would a woman."

A small laugh escapes me, "Like you would--? Simon? What does that even mean?"

"Don't laugh. I... don't know though it... feels different."

"Well because I'm not a woman, least I don't feel like one anyway."

"I wouldn't care if you did. I don't think I've ever... felt like this towards anyone..."

"You coulda liked men before... but went about pretending you didn't till now? I'm not sure if you were but I know that happens..."

"To you?"

"No."

"Oh..."

Ghost falls silent once again and now I feel like I keep answering his questions wrong. He's not confident yet, which is fine, but the way I've experienced being gay isn't the same as him. I haven't repressed myself, exactly... or at least not like him. I think I've always known, but Cal and Mum haven't ever said anything. Which makes me think they knew too. They had to of after Cal caught me that one time.

It had to of been secondary school, year nine if I remember right. Cal had come home early from football practice. I had one of my friends over and we were upstairs. He, least in my mind, was flirting with me so I flirted back. Maybe he was experimenting, maybe him and his mates knew I was different, but he ended up kissing me. Cal found out by going to my room. He couldn't of seen our bikes in the garden since he acted as if he just needed some things. He found us and just stared. It scared my friend off, and I never talked to him after. Not even when I tried to apologize and sort it out.