Enough Courage

☆Chapter 18

In the morning I wake up in my bed in a cocoon of blankets. My makeshift bed on the floor is cleaned up.

I rise slowly out of my bed when I smell something cooking from the kitchen. It has to be Collins cooking. Kelesy doesn't cook, and it smells too delicious to be Shainas cooking.

Speaking of Shaina, I search for my phone and check to see if she's texted me back.

I rush of relief floods me when I do see a text back from her. She tells me she's okay, that she went on a spontaneous trip and she would be home in a couple of days.

Spontaneous trip? To where? I ask myself. There's no way she followed Shane to Florida... is there?

I've been living with Shaina long enough to know this isn't something she'd usually do.

But I shove the thought out of my head, who cares? If she wants to follow a guy to Florida on a whim. So be it.

I slip quietly out of my room to see Collins cooking again over the stove.

"Hey." I say lightly.

He looks at me startled.

"Sorry," I laugh. "I didn't mean to scare you."

He grins at me. "It's okay, I was in my own little world." He shuts the burner off and walks up to me. His hand finds my cheek and pulls me in, he kisses me long and deeply on the lips. He lingers there for a while, then he plants a kiss on my forehead.

"What w-was that for?" I stammered.

He grins down at me, "I wanted too." He says simply.

I shrug, thats a good enough reason for me. Do it again, I say to myself.

"But-" he starts in a scolding voice. "Don't let me sleep in your bed while you sleep on the floor ever again, ok?"

"Why not? You looked comfy. Plus, I was comfortable on the floor."

"We've slept in the same bed before." He states and I blush.

"Well yeah, but that was a king sized bed."

He raises an eyebrow at me, "we just needed to sleep close together." He puts emphasis on close.

He has a point.

"What are you making? Also, where did you find enough ingredients to actually make something?"

"I walked to the store, and I made omelets." He puts one on a plate just then, and shoves it towards me.

I take it, but feel like I'm going to throw up. Its not that it doesn't look good, it looks and smells amazing.

Collins notices me stalling.

"What's wrong?" He asks softly.

"Nothing, it looks great." I force myself to say.

But he is not convinced.

"You don't eat much." He says trying to pry more info out of me.

I want to tell him I haven't felt like eating. Like my stomach went for a walk and hasn't came back. But I don't say any of this, I just muster up a smile.

"You just don't notice when I do eat."

I turn on my toes and sit down at our small table for two.

I put the plate down and cut into the omelet with my fork and take a nice sized bite. I only do this because I can feel Collins watching me.

Once he's satisfied, I go back to thinking about how much the food in my mouth tastes like glue and I don't want to swallow it. I wait for him to turn around and I spit it into a napkin on the table.

I know I have a problem, I just don't want to admit it.

I do this a couple more times until Collins announces he has to use the bathroom. Then I cut up the omelet and put it in the garbage disposal.

I feel ashamed, even more so because Collins has noticed my eating habits.

Collins returns and smiles at me when he sees my empty plate.

"So when's your class today?" He asks.

"I don't have class until 1 o'clock."

"Cool. I have class soon, so I should probably get going. Also I have baseball practice tonight." I wonder momentarily if this is his way of saying if I don't hear from him don't panic.

I nod. "Have you thought about asking Kelesy for help with your classes?"

He laughs, "I have to think more about it."

"Okay but just remember she's actually pretty smart."

He's still smiling when he finds his jacket slung over our love seat.

"Are you still coming to dinner then? My mom said you were welcome." I add quickly so he can object right away.

"For sure, I'll pick you up, okay?"

I nod and wait for him to kiss me but he doesn't so I decide to do it myself. I stand on my tiptoes and plant my lips on his.

"Have a good day." I say, and then he's gone walking across our yard in the direction of the university.