Tsaheylu

The End of the War

My eyes open to see Neteyam, his body being caught in the sunlight. He wasn't looking at me, and hadn't noticed that I was awake yet. Instead he was just staring at the wall, deep in thought. I wish I could tell what was happening in his head, wish I could read his thoughts, but all I could do was see the sad look on his face as whatever he was thinking about bothered him.

"Hey..." I whisper, lifting my head as I put my good hand on his cheek, pulling him back into the room. He blinks sharply as he looks as me, pulling a forced smile while he placed his hand on top of mine. "What's wrong?" I ask him softly, moving my body into a more upright position. I was barely awake, but seeing Neteyam so caught up in his thoughts worried me.

Whatever it was seemed to be plaguing his mind heavily, still bothering him now even when I was peering into his eyes. His tongue flitters out over his lip, searching for the words inside himself. "Tsireya said that last year, your mum disappeared for 2 months. And you fell into a deep depression..." He lets out quietly, avoiding my eyes as my jaw dropped a little.

My breath catches in my throat as I sit myself up entirely, my hand dropping from his face into his lap. He takes it in his own, gripping onto me while I sat there a little stunned. "I was going to tell you, just when it was appropriate." I say, pressing my lips together tightly. "I know you were," He nods, gently using his finger to move my chin to face him. His eyes grow soft, speaking paragraphs to me without uttering a single word as he peers into my soul. "We're here for you, I'm here for you. Always. You won't ever have to go through that again, and if you feel like you are going into an episode again then I will be there to hold your hand. I will be there for you, for as long as it takes to get you back on your feet." He finally says, bringing my hand to his chest.

He pulls me into his lap, placing his forehead on my chest as his hands wound round to my back. His breath hitches in his throat as he holds me, just needing to be close to me like I did him. I carefully turn his head to lay on my chest and hold his head, placing my chin on the top of his head as he breathed shallowly. "I can't stand the thought of you being so alone... In so much pain... All by someone who is supposed to hide you from the monstrosities of the world, not expose you to them..." He whispers, pain and anguish seeping through his words.

"Hey..." I whisper, pulling his head away from my chest so I could look at him. I tilt my head to the side a little, my hands falling to the back of his neck. "She can't hurt me anymore, not while you're here. I'm stronger now, and know that I have a network of people behind me to keep me on my feet. The first and foremost being you." I bring my forehead to his and wipe a tear from his cheek, my heart aching at how much this affected him. It was a while ago and I was doing much better now in spite of it; and yet it was like Neteyam was experiencing it for himself before me. He didn't need to say anything for me to see that.

He nods his head, rubbing his face furiously to rid himself of the emotions. I hold his face in my hands, ignoring the ache in my bad hand as I pressed my lips to his, kissing him to show him I was ok. I could tell that he was worried I was going to slip into an episode now, but surprisingly today I felt much better. Being rid of the burden of my mother was like a huge weight off of my chest. I felt like I could almost take my first breath of fresh air. Untainted, liberated and free. Almost.

His lips move against mine, washing away our emotions as we embraced eachother - it was raw love and nothing could get in between that right now. I graze his lip with my thumb as I pull away, searching in his eyes for that smile I always craved. "Where did the others go?" I ask him quietly, taking a few breaths to regain the oxygen in my lungs again. "They went to get breakfast, said that they would bring some food back for us." He responds, adjusting me on his lap so we were both a little more comfortable.