After All, I'm Your Secret Admirer~!!

Ch35 - It's Just One of Those Days

A/N

this chapter contains suicidal acts and illusions to self harm! nobody gets hurt, but please be safe!! there's a tl;dr at the end in case you cant read this!

END A/N

Leaf listens as the line beeps, signifying the end of the call. Their head is filled with static of all kinds. Thick, thick layers upon layers of static.

Something comes over them. Some want. Some need.

"L-Leaf?" Paige asks, worry in his voice. "Are... are you okay?"

They can't help it. Leaf laughs. And laughs. And laughs.

"What the FUCK do you think?" they finally spit. "What the fuck do you really and truly think I feel like right now?"

"Um."

"Yeah. Um."

Leaf breathes heavily, clutching their head. "Why the fuck did I say anything," they mumble. "I should've kept my fucking mouth shut like I was doing. But no!" Leaf laughs. "I had to hurry up and apologize or some shit, right? Because that would fix everything?"

"Leaf..." Paige warbles. "That's not fair..."

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Leaf stomps their foot to punctuate it. "I'm sick of this shit! I come back just to help you and I'm treated like a fucking villain because, what? I expect people to act like how I know they do?"

"You didn't come back for me," Paige says, a little mad. "You came back for Kevin."

"Because your ass wouldn't have done anything!" Leaf shouts back. "I had to do it!"

"Why? Kevin didn't ask you for help."

"Ugh!!!" Leaf pulls their hands out of their hair and holds themself, clawing at their arms. It doesn't do any damage through the hoodie they're still wearing, but it makes them feel better anyways. "You're the worst! I do something that you'd never do! I get revenge for one of our best friends! I try to learn one thing and I piss off our other best friend so much he wants me dead!" They fall down on their bed and push their hands into their eyes. "It's not fucking fair!!"

"Leaf..." Paige mumbles.

"And now!" Leaf shouts, sniffling, "Now, I have you all mad at me! What the fuck am I then? What good am I?" They laugh humorlessly. "Nothing. Fucking garbage." They fall down sideways on the bed. "I need to be thrown away."

"No you don't!" Paige cries. "You just... you just need to calm down a bit..."

"Calm down?" Leaf laughs, blubbery. "You want—you want me to calm down?" They sniff. "I'll show you what makes me fucking calm."

The teen rises, vitriol and rage and just plain anger flowing throughout their bloodstream. It was like they could physically feel themself heating up.

Blood boiling, they stomp into Quinn's room and then her bathroom, an odd smile pulling at their face.

"Leaf?" Paige asks quietly. "What are we doing here?"

"Oh?" Leaf says kindly. "Did I not tell you?" Their voice gains its natural edge again as they spit, "I'm showing you what makes me calm!"

Leaf laughs maniacally as they open the cabinet where their mom kept her razors to shave with.

"Leaf!" Paige shouts. "What are you doing!?"

Leaf pulls out a box of brand new razors and takes one out. "You know exactly what I'm doing," he scoffs.

He goes to roll up his sleeve, but suddenly, he can't seem to move.

"You're not—I'm not gonna let you do that!!" Paige shouts, dropping the thing along with the rest of the box into the sink. He's making the both of them tremble. "Leaf! Wh-what the heck!!"

"Whatever," Leaf huffs, angry. "What the fuck ever."

"No, not what the eff ever!" Paige yells, scrambling back into his room. "Leaf, you were about to—you—" He breathes heavily. "You—!"

"Get over it," Leaf says, rolling their eyes. They use all their power to hide how mad and upset and hurt and pained they feel. If Paige wanted to be mad at them, then he could be mad at a husk.

"I—No!" Paige curls into a ball on the floor, back against his bed. "I can't let you do this anymore, Leaf!"

"Do what? Protect you and our friends?"

"You haven't done any 'protecting' in ages! You just tried to hurt us!!"

"It wouldn't have hurt you," Leaf says nonchalantly. "Big baby. Unlike you, I know how to take a bit of pain." They snort. "Not like I didn't suffer the worst from Mack or anything."

Paige's whole body becomes limp as he sighs. "I'm not going to take this from you," he says quietly. "You can't come in here out of nowhere, hurt my friends and family and me and expect me to just deal with you."

Leaf laughs. "Oh, I'm something to deal with now, huh?" Their tone becomes like steel, but there's still a challenging smile in it. "Then deal with me."

Leaf knows they have nothing to worry about. Paige is too scared to do anything. Ever. Even if he could do something, there was no way—

"F-fine..." Paige says pensively. "Fine. You... you asked for this."

The teen clasps his hands together and strains for a moment. Leaf doesn't know what that's supposed to do, but it's obviously not doing anythi—

...was that the sound of something cartoonishly falling?

Leaf looks up just in time to see a bottomless red cage fall overtop of them, bars plentiful and tight together. They blink.

"...What."

"I—I can't trust you!" Paige cries as Leaf grabs at a bar and begins to shake with rage. "What if I fall asleep and I wake up in the hospital again because of you!? I—I can't—!"

"Oh so what, you're gonna cage me? Cage me for forever or until you need me again or some shit?" Leaf laughs. They laugh and laugh and laugh. "Okay. Fine. Cage me." They sit and turn away from Paige, crossing their arms. "See if I fucking care."

"...I'm sorry," Paige says quietly.

Leaf does not respond.

tl;dr:

Leaf is mad at everyone, everything, and the whole world. Paige tries to calm them down, but it backfires. Leaf goes into Quinn's bathroom and picks up a razor, which is when Paige forcibly takes front again and puts it safely away. He then sits down and banishes Leaf into a cage, leaving them unable to move.