After All, I'm Your Secret Admirer~!!

Ch55 - Let's All Love Leaf

"Aww!" Brandon is pouting before a stunned Leaf can think to do anything. "OJ, how come Paige gets two?"

OJ's smile grows a bit strained. "It's a secret," he starts, turning towards Paige. "Just between all of us, right?" He winks.

Leaf is dumbfounded. All of them? Meaning more than just him and Paige?

...Leaf too?

"Leaf..." Paige mumbles in their head. "Are you okay?"

"C-can I thank him?" they ask in lieu of an answer.

Paige smiles happily. "Yeah! Of course!"

The switch is smooth. It's not long before Leaf blinks into the driver's seat. He looks down at his hands carefully.

They're trembling a bit.

"Paige?" OJ asks, putting a hand on Leaf's shoulder. "Are you quite alright?"

Leaf opens their mouth.

And a wail spills out.

"Paige!?" Brandon gasps. "Bro, what's happening? Are you okay!?"

Leaf sniffs pitifully before turning towards OJ. "Th-thank you..." they mumble. "Thank you so much..." Their voice is scratchier than normal, the scream having been a lot more powerful than they had intended. It hurts a bit, but they power through it. "I don't... You're the first person to..."

Realization flashes in OJ's eyes and his eyes round with more worry.

"Paige," Sue tries this time, "Do you need to sit down?"

Leaf nods dumbly before looking down at the abandoned pillows. Without any further warning, he kneels down and lays on top of the sky blue one. All their friends follow behind, surrounding Leaf.

It's an odd feeling. He can tell they're all worried, but he knows they're all worried about Paige. Not them. Not Leaf.

Nobody except for OJ.

OJ knows. He's here for them.

They wish desperately that everyone else knew too.

"Don't they?" Paige asks quietly. "Doesn't like, everyone here know about you?"

...Oh.

They do, don't they?

Maybe not as well as Leaf would like, but...

"Let's change that, then," Paige urges. "We should tell everyone about you. For real this time."

"Why?" Leaf asks, pain filling their chest. Oh, what they wouldn't do to be actual, real friends with everyone...

"You deserve it," Paige says simply. "You've been trying so hard to be a better person, Leaf. And you're doing great! You deserve to be recognized as your own person."

Recognized as their own person....

"...Are you sure you're okay with this, Paige?" Leaf asks carefully.

"They're our best friends," Paige smiles. "I'm sure."

At some point their arm had found its way over their eyes. They pull it down and sit up before looking over everyone timidly.

"Le—Paige," OJ says, coughing over his stumble, "Are you feeling a bit better now?"

"I-I..." Leaf tries. "I'm..."

"Hey man, it's okay if you need a minute," Brandon says, putting his hand on Leaf's other shoulder. Sue and Bro nod at them as well, a silent confirmation.

"I..." Leaf tries again. "I don't know where to start."

"Wh-wh-what do y-you mean?" Bro asks, stutter showing itself more than it usually did. Oh god they must've done that. They must've worried him.

They must've worried everyone so much.

So, Leaf takes one big shuddering breath before taking the plunge.

"I... I mean..." they falter, unsure of what to say.

"Just tell the truth," Paige instructs. "Everything will be fine."

Right. Everything would be fine.

"I..." they start once more, finally pushing themself to finish their sentence, "I am... not Paige."

The air around them suddenly grows heavy. Brandon's hand squeezes Leaf's shoulder and they can't tell if it's supposed to be comforting or a warning.

But they push on anyways.

"I am not Paige," they repeat. "I-I'm Leaf."

A pin's drop could be heard with how quiet everyone is. Leaf screws their eyes shut and bites their lip, terrified. They knew they shouldn't have said anything. Now everyone was gonna hate them. Because they went and ruined this little get together. Because that's all Leaf's good for, right? Ruining things?

"Leaf," Sue says, pulling them out of their head, "Breathe."

Leaf tries and immediately fails to follow instructions. Somewhere between them announcing their presence and now, they had begun to hyperventilate. It's not an easy task to stop once started, and Leaf finds having it be expected of them just makes trying to calm down even worse.

"Hey, man," Leaf hears Brandon say, close but also far away somehow. "Calm down, okay? We're all friends here. We're not gonna hurt you or anything."

They weren't gonna hurt them...

"W-we w-ould never," Bro affirms. "Ever."

"We're here for you, Leaf," Sue adds.

"All of us," finishes OJ.

Leaf is so full of emotions they don't know what to do.

"Y-you guys..." they mumble through tears that had started to spill at some point. "I.... You..."

Leaf is about to burst. They'd just have to spit it out if they were ever gonna get an answer.

"You guys... a-accept me...?" they ask, voice terribly quiet.

"What?" Brandon asks. "Dude, of course we do!" He looks at the rest of the group. "I mean, I didn't know everyone else knew about you, but that's besides the point. What I do know still stands, though. And I know for a fact everyone here trusts you, man."

"Yeah," Sue nods. "You were very open and didn't lie when I asked you questions before. I appreciate that in a person." Their gaze warms. "Besides, you're the reason Paige is even able to be here with us, aren't you?"

Leaf pauses before nodding. They were, weren't they?

Sue smiles lightly. "Well then, there you go. I wouldn't know Paige if not for you, and so for that I thank and trust you."

"U-us too," Bro smiles. "Y-you're our friend, L-eaf."

Leaf's breathing is slowly returning to normal. They look around at everyone, ending at OJ.

The boy smiles. "You already know how much I like you, Leaf. You don't have to earn that. In fact, you don't have to earn anything from anyone here. You already have it."

Leaf's eyes once again fill with tears.

"See?" Paige grins. "I told you everything would be alright."

Even though they're crying, awful gross crying, laughter somehow bubbles up from Leaf. They can't see anyone anymore, eyes shut tight, but they feel the second someone hugs them.

And then a second. And third. And fourth.

And before Leaf knows it, they're the center of a large group hug.

They have a feeling in their chest that is both light and heavy and so, so many other things. But most of all, they feel loved.

Leaf cries harder.