deep blue eyes // Antoine Griezmann

Chapter 35 - Eavesdropping

On Thursday afternoon, I haven't been close to Antoine all week. Well I have been, actually. We have eaten lunch together and everything... But not close. Like, close how girlfriends and boyfriends are. We've been friend close, and I feel deprived of his loving-ness.

I understand why it has been this way. He has been busy with basketball and football, and a variety of other things. We have both been busy, actually, and just haven't had the time.

But by Thursday afternoon, it's not a matter of wanting him anymore. It's almost as if after four or five days, now there's a feeling of need for him.

So I grab my supplies from my locker, then make the walk across the school to his locker to find him, hoping he's not busy this afternoon. I want to spend time with him so badly. There's a quick beating throughout my whole body from my heart that signals how much I need him. My emotions need him.

I find him standing by his locker, talking very quietly with Phil Foden. Not many people are still in the hallways anymore, so they're both talking in hushed tones, leaning against Antoine's locker and the one next to it. Their voices sound serious, and their faces look thoughtful. I long to know what the two are talking about. Antoine looks slightly uncomfortable, but I can only tell that because of all the time I've spent studying his beautiful face over the passed year. It's hard to tell what Foden is feeling, because I find often with males, they are very good at keeping their emotions and thoughts from showing in their faces. But if I had to guess, I might say Foden looks slightly distressed, or maybe even pained. This greatly concerns me, because Foden is a friend of mine, and although I don't like him like I do with Griezmann, I wouldn't deny in a second that I don't deeply care about him.

The way they are talking, though, seems like it's not my business. They're acting kind of secretive. So I know if I just walk up and try to join the conversation, they'll likely switch the topic and refuse to keep talking about the previous subject, because it doesn't concern me. So, because I'm concerned, and maybe a bit nosy, too, I slowly sneak up to the corner, hoping to catch a few points of their conversation, and still remain unnoticed.

This is a difficult task, even for me, who has always had a strange talent of eavesdropping.

But I do start catching words while Foden is in mid-sentence, "...that's what you think, but it's just not how it is for me. That's not like I am. I'm not Neymar, or Mbappe, or even Henderson. I'm more like you than you think, and maybe that's why we both like her." My heart skips a beat. I am on the other side of the corner of the wall, extremely close to them, but they can't see me. They don't know my presence, and I, even though I shouldn't, know that they're talking about me. My ear is extremely perked right now, trying to hear both of their soft voices.

"Foden, I don't know," I hear Antoine sigh tiredly. "I just don't know. I don't know why you're still talking to me about this. I understand you like her, too. But I also understand that when we talked about it, you said, before I even started to talk, that I could have her, okay? You gave her to me. I was going to let my heart break into pieces, and I was gonna let you have h-"

"You let me heart into pieces, Griezmann! You're making my point, and I'm not even talking!" Foden says, louder than his previous whisper. "Don't you understand?"

"Why did you give her to me then? Huh? Why? I wouldn't have taken her! I really wouldn't've! But because you said I could, I did! Someone's heart had to break here, and I was going to let it be mine, Foden! But you did that! You let it be yours! I get your feelings, okay? I understand! It's hurts, yeah, but if you were going to let me have her, then you should not have said that! If you were going to come to me later and tell me how much you're broken, and how much your heart is torn, and how much you wish you were me, then you should've taken her, okay? But you didn't and now she's my girlfriend, and I'm happy that way! So I thank you for what you did, because it was honorable, but I could've done the same thing, and I would've gone to you, asking for her back, because I would've understood what you did and why you did it! So either go right now, or give me a good reason of why you did that!" As Antoine talks, his voice gets louder and louder, harsher and harsher, stronger and stronger.

I stare at the wall across from me, in complete awe. I feel uncomfortable. My chest hurts. This is weird. I shouldn't be seeing what went on behind the scenes, and for some reason an anger raises up within me, just by the way they were talking about the whole thing. They were talking about me as if I'm some start object to bring nothing but happiness. How can you give a person to someone else? How could they say that Foden let Antoine have ME? I'm a person! They can't choose whose I am, because I'm my own person! They're acting as if I was stolen, or I am some valued item, that will lead them to happiness or something! Is my only purpose to them just to make them happy? Relationships should be more than that, whether they're family relationships, friend relationships, or romantic relationships. I clench my fists, trying to erase that anger, at least for now, just to hear the rest of the conversation.

"Alright, Griezmann, I'll tell you why I let you have her," Foden says, very quietly now, but also very emotionally. There it is again. Let you have her. "I let you have her because I knew she liked you. I knew she didn't like me. I knew you were the one she showed interest in. And I want her to be happy. I want her to be happy, more than I want to be with her. So I let her be with you. Because that would make sure she stays happy, and that's what I care about the most, okay? That's why I let you have her! That's it!"

There is silence. Then Foden mutters, "So, Griezmann, there is one thing I ask from you. Don't hurt her. Let her be happy, like I wish for her. Be good to her. Don't be selfish to her. I liked her enough to let you have her, knowing she would be happier. So prove me right, and make her stay happier." Before Griezmann responds, I hear Foden walk away and walk out the nearby door.

This definitely does something to my perspective, but I'm actually not exactly sure what. I decide that now, for some reason, I don't really have that need to spend time that time with Antoine anymore. So I just walk away, not sure if I'm happy or not that I heard that conversation.