Hate You, Love You. | Jenlisa

39

Nancy can call me a hood rat all she wants, but I don't care. I've worked too hard on my self confidence to allow another person to tear it down. In facet, she's lucky that I'm a bit more refined than some of the people I grew up with.

Is it as safe as all the fancy neighborhoods that the kids at Winterwood reside in? Definitely not. Violent crimes take place from time to time and when they're reported, the authorities sometimes don't care.

In fact, I believe that the only reason why they followed up on my attempted rape case is because Lisa followed me and swore that she'd be keeping an eye on the case.

I learned from a young age that the rules are not the same for all races. It sucks big time and is highly unfair, but then, that's just how the world works. The world is unfair and that's why the rich would continue to get richer, the poor continue to be poorer, the oppressor steps on the neck of the oppressed and the oppressed would continue to cry out.

Once you grow up in the trenches, then you start to accept the harsh realities of life.

I wouldn't trade my upbringing for anything in the world because it made me tough; it made me have a thick skin, thick enough to withstand the taunts of people like Nancy and Lisa. I guess you can also attribute my tough personality to the positive role models I had in my life: my mom, Grandma and my dad.

Yes, I said my dad, because growing up, I remember him always being there for me. Hell, if he didn't take me to martial arts classes everyday, I won't have beaten Lisa's ass in 'Treasure Hunt'.

I hear a knock on my bedroom door and close the novel I'm reading. Have to say, 'Me Before You' by Jojo Moyes is really interesting. I got a copy from Barnes and Noble after Rosé won't shut up about how 'emotional' the movie is.

I decided to read the book first before I venture into watching the movie because books which turn out to be Hollywood movies tend to cut out scenes, sometimes really important ones, and it just ruins the whole experience for me.

I know they can't possibly depict every single thing that happens in the book, but, it wouldn't kill them to at least try.

"Come in."

Mom peeps her head through the door, her pink bonnet fading into view. "You're not asleep yet? You have school tomorrow." She comes in and closes the door.

I pat the bed beside me and she sits down... more like bounces on it. "You know it's 11pm and you need 8 hours of sleep–"

"So you can function properly because adequate sleep leads to a healthy mind." I complete for her. I've been on receiving end of this mantra since I was 14 and started sleeping late because of tests and exams.

She's a nurse and she has a right to be concerned, but I won't die if I sleep for five hours.

Albert Einstein only slept for 3 hours a day and he was a genius.

"Exactly. Ella's asleep and you're usually asleep by this time since it's not test or exam week." She eyes me suspiciously. "Who's keeping you up?"

Parents always assume that if you're up late, you're probably talking to someone and that automatically means you're in a relationship. I humor her a bit and say. "Jojo Moyes is keeping me up late, mom."

"I knew it! Who is her? Is her from school? When were you going to tell me you had a boyfriend?"

I roll my eyes internally. If it were possible, I would have visibly rolled my eyes but that's a death sentence. "Mom, I don't have a boyfriend names Jojo Moyes." His name is Kim Jongin. "How'd you even come up with that conclusion?"

"So it's a girl?"

"Mom," I answer frustratingly. "Jojo Moyes is an author, a female author." I point to the book on my lap and shoe her the cover page. "Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. That's WHAT'S keeping me up. It's a really good book and Rosé recommended it to me."

She visibly relaxes and adjusts her robe. "That's good. I thought you had a boyfriend I didn't know about."

I laugh nervously. "If I have one, you'd be the first to know." I hate lying to my mom, I really do, and sooner or later, the truth is bound to come out, but I like things the way they are right now. If the truth comes out, I'd deal with the situation head on.

"Speaking of Rosé, how is she? I don't see her around much."

"She was here last week and she's good, I guess. We're both trying to survive the last months of high school so we can be done with the education system." Mom gives me a look. "I mean, done with high school."

Another thing about Korean parents, higher education is really important to them. You absolutely have to go to a university. To them, higher education means securing your future for life.

Who am I to say that I don't want to go to university?

"Have you thought about where you want to go or what you want to study?"

I shake my head. "My end goal is to be a lawyer, but I don't know what I want to do as a first degree." She nods in understanding. "Rosé and I have made an appointment with the guidance counselor so we'd be paying her a visit tomorrow. Hopefully she can guide us in making a decision."

"That's good, honey. My advice is you pick something you love and don't sweat it. I don't want to pressure you and I won't tell you to go into the medical field like I did because that's entirely up to you. I'll just do my part as a mother to guide you aright and be supportive as possible."

I give her a hug. "Thanks, mom. I love you."

"Love you too. Always and forever."