Hate You, Love You. | Jenlisa

123

"Mom."

I knock once on her bedroom door and then come in. She's typing away on her tablet, her glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. She's clad in her grey pajamas and a bonnet is covering her head.

Deep breaths, Jen. Deep breaths.

"Hey, sweetie, Are you good?"

"Somewhat." I settle on her bed and lay on her lap. She runs her fingers through my hair. "What happened?"

Chitthip Manoban happened. I've been thinking all week about how I'm going to approach the conversation with my mom. I had many opportunities to talk to her: I could have talked to her that Sunday, or this Wednesday, since she was home but I waited till now–Saturday night–to open up an old wound.

I don't know how mom would react. It has been 10 years and I believe she has moved on but sometimes bringing up the past can resurface old memories that have been buried with time.

However, I need to tell her about what Chitthip told me. I can't keep this secret from her since it affects her–affects us–directly. Plus, she needs to fill in a few blanks for me.

"Remember how I went to Lisa's family event last Sunday?"

"I remember. You never told me how that went. You came home and went straight to your bedroom."

In my defense, I was a bit overwhelmed. I tried to be all cool and act natural but it was weird. When I went for the event, I never expected to see a blast from the past. But, it happened and I had to deal with it.

"It was good, till I had a conversation with Lisa's mom." I raise my head from her lap and look at her. My hands tangle with each other and she raises a brow.

"You met her mom?"

I more than met her mom.

"I did."

"That's great, I think. I don't know. You don't look too excited."

"Do you by any chance know of any one named Chitthip? Does the name ring a bell?"

She scrunches her eyebrows and thinks for a bit. The silence makes me even more nervous, if that's even possible.

Say something.

"No, not that I know of. What has she got to do with anything?"

"Mom, Chitthip Manoban is part of our past." I'm trying to tread softly. "You must know her."

"Lisa's mom is Chitthip Manoban, right?" She asks for confirmation.

"Yes."

"I can't say I remember her." Her face contours to a frown. "Can you stop being parabalic and tell me what's eating you up? You clearly look like you want to tell me something."

"Chitthip Manoban dated dad, mom." I whisper softly. Her whole body stills and the mug in her hand shakes a bit, I quickly grab the mug from her before it breaks and place it on her bedside table.

"Mom, I'm sorry. I just had to tell you."

"Who told you that?"

"She told me herself."

I explain to her everything that Chitthiph told me: the timeline of their affair along with all the other things she revealed to me. I also chip in a few things from what Lisa told me. Mom listens intently without interrupting. I can see that she is trying to keep her emotions at bay, for my sake, I think. When I'm done, she sighs deeply and I bite my lip.

"Jennie, your father and I had our issues. You'll be 18 this year and you're old enough to understand some things. Yes, your father did cheat on me." Grandma already told me this years ago.