Hate You, Love You. | Jenlisa

110

They say that dead men tell no tales, only the living get to breathe and experience what it's like to feel alive. As I drag my feet into school, I ponder over those words and realize that my worst fear is actually a reality. I feel like a dead man walking.

I had a sinking feeling in my gut, but I ignored it. I tried to be positive, I really did, but how much hope is one person supposed to have till you realize that everything is crumbling before your eyes?

"Where were you?" I slam my locker shut and take deep breaths. I have zero fucks to give today.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Hyejun." The morning bell is yet to ring and students are still filing into the double doors. I'm early today, no surprise there, and life is seemingly back to normal.

Like nothing ever happened.

"Would you at least face me, please?" I sigh. "Can't really have a conversation with your back.

I spin around to face him and his accusatory tone softens. He looks at me with concern while I try to keep the tears at bay.

Yes, I had been crying. Truth be told, I barely got a wink of sleep once Lisa dropped me off. I'm a very good actress, I believe I deserve and Oscar, because something was definitely off yesterday but she didn't notice it and I didn't let her notice it.

I played the role of the supportive 'date' and congratulated her once she beat Kim Hanbin.

"Have you been crying?"

I shake my head but who am I kidding? It's so fucking obvious. I'm fucking obvious.

"I've known you for a while now, Jen. You are. What happened?"

"Nothing." I compose myself. "Nothing's wrong. You were asking me something."

His eyebrows scrunch up. "Never mind that. Why are you crying?"

"I said it's nothing."

"Is it that time of the month again?"

"Drop it."

He is taken aback by my tone, but says nothing, instead he mutters 'women' and h angs around my locker, looking at the students filing in. There's a solid 20 minutes till school starts and Rosé isn't here yet. She's always early too but I guess today is an exception.

"You didn't go to the dance."

I narrow my eyes. "I told you I wasn't going so I didn't."

"You didn't." He turns to me and raises a brow. "Where were you then?"

I give nothing away. If he expects me to tell him I was with Lisa then he'd wait till all eternity. Things are still strained between the two of us and once the Lisa topic is brought to the table, things never end well.

Besides, I can't tell him that I went to an illegal street race. He's a cop for fuck's sake and it'll solidify his suspicions.

"At home."

"Where you really..." his gaze pins me. "Home?"

"Hyejun, if you have something to say, please say it." I have no patience for an inquiry from hell and I'm definitely pissy right now.

"I was at the dance, you know." Rosé must have been real convincing. "And I happened to see Lisa. She asked Rosé about you but she said you weren't coming."

What's the point of this?

"Then she left and never came back."

I narrow my eyes. "I don't know what that has to do with me for God's sake! Okay, she didn't see me. She left. What am I supposed to do about that? I was home or what do you want me to do, send you photographic evidence that I was bunched up in a blanket with a bag of popcorn watching Stranger Things?"