Hate You, Love You. | Jenlisa

57

Detective Seonho is right.

Things did change in my life, and it wasn't the threat of the mafia and the fact that Officer Bogum-Se Hyejun-is my new bodyguard or the 5 months that I spent with someone I swore I loved was all a lie.

Those are pretty serious too, but I made 2 important life-changing decisions:

1. I'm not going to cry. It'll only make things worse for me because I've cried a little too much for over a week and it's starting to rain on my parade.
2. I stopped wearing the promise ring Kai gave me. After the revelations yesterday, the first thing I did was toss the ring somewhere in my room and scream into the pillow.

Fuck my love for Kai. Fuck my feelings for Lisa. They are all dead and buried until further notice. Right now, I'm focusing all my energy on getting good grades, finally deciding on a university and become a Valedictorian.

That was the plan all along, but then life happened and I fell in 'love'. Saying that word now leaves a very sour taste in my mouth. Maybe mom was right in the stating that I'm too young to know the meaning of love. Maybe she was right when she said he was taking advantage of me.

At the restaurant, his ex Krystal did mention that he was into younger women, and he seemingly confirmed it on the drive to Rosé's house.

It looks like I'm just a notch on his belt.

Hearing that he has ties to the mafia is something that I'm struggling to believe, even till this day. He is a good actor, I'll give him that, because I never would have in a million years thought that he would be involved in organized crime.

He was always sweet and kind to me, never really showing who he truly was. Now that I think about it, there were a couple of red flags that I ignored.

For one thing, I always wondered what his source of income was. The diner is a success no doubt, but I didn't think it brought in enough back to support his lifestyle.

He lived in a high rise building in one of the wealthy areas in town, the ones with the penthouses and mansions that Winterwood students live in. We dined at a 5 star restaurant (except for our first date at the park) and he gave me a 5 carat diamond ring, exclusively found at Tiffany & Co.

I found that out while perusing through the internet.

I had questioned him once about how he was able to afford all these but he told me that he was also a real estate investor. After that, I didn't question him further.

Looking back, I should have. If I did and found out who he truly was, I would have ended the relationship faster than you could scream 'Amen'.

The rest of the week dragged by like mud and it's finally Saturday. Owing to the fact that I'm currently unemployed (the diner has been sealed) I'm able to give my undivided attention to my academics and to my extracurricular.

Putting the finishing touches to my make up, I sigh into the mirror on my bedroom wall. My cat-like eyes look dull, even with my glasses perched on it. I've definitely lost weight.

With all that's going on, I'll admit that I haven't been eating or taking care of myself the way I used to. It's not that I don't want to eat, I just don't have the appetite to and mom isn't around to give me a lecture about why breakfast, lunch and dinner are important meals that shouldn't be skipped. She resumed her normal schedule after I told her that I'm fully healed.

On the bright side, note the sarcasm, I have been snacking on junk food and I guess that's the reason why I haven't slumped dead on the floor.

Music Club rehearsals starts in 30 minutes and Officer Bogum sent a text saying he'll be here in 5. Having a bodyguard, even if it's just for a while, is so weird. It's like being a criminal and having an ankle bracelet, the only difference is the ankle bracelet can actually talk.