Hate You, Love You. | Jenlisa

102

Today is the day, the day of the Sadie Hawkins dance.

Guess where I am? At home, on my bed, watching the 4th season of Stranger Things on Netflix. While the rest of the school is partying away–I've seen their social media posts and news feeds–I'm at home with a shirt that is two sizes too big and shorts that is a size too small.

I was being serious when I said I wasn't going to attend, and even though Rosé talked to me for over an hour on the phone this evening convincing me to change my mind, I'm firm in my resolve to not be part of a sexist tradition.

However, I did buy the snacks I was assigned to get days ago and submitted them to Nancy like an offering. It wasn't a problem to get them, it was just the usual chips, dips, candies and soft drinks. Hyejun was supposed to help me since we were paired together but I didn't tell him.

Ever since our talk, things have been tense and weird. I don't know if I'm the only one noticing it, but we barely say more than 10 words to each other.

We don't talk in school except for the usual early morning greetings, we barely talk in class, I don't tell him shit about my day anymore and I don't rant to him about how much I hate school.

The worst part is he doesn't even ask.

Mom and Ella are home and they're watching some reality show on TV, I think it's the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and I'm not interested in that. Reality TV is fake and just scripted television, an exaggerated, unfiltered and unnecessary body double to ACTUAL series which by the way, makes more sense than seeing women bitching about the dumbest of things.

Imagine having a cat fight just because your hairstylist worked for a client who happens to be your rival, then dragging your whole squad to call out the hairstylist on social media because of 'divided loyalty'. Why do they always have to make a volcano out of a matchstick?

But Ella doesn't see it that way, apparently the bitching, cat fights, name calling, wine throwing and switching sides shit appeals to her in some way.

Next to Netflix and Kristina, reality TV is her best friend. Name any reality TV shown on the planet, chances are Ella has watched it or has an idea about what it's about. Mom watches reality TV too, but not as often as she would like because of work. It's her day off so she's spending time with her favorite daughter... I guess.

My phone buzzes on my bed and I hit pause on my laptop. With a sigh, I open my phone and tap the message that popped up.

Lisa: You here?

The dance started an hour ago.

Jen: No.

Lisa: You were really serious then.

Jen: I don't joke around shit a lot.

I explained to her why I wasn't interested in the dance and she understood. She's a very good listener. We texted each other til 3am yesterday and it was nice, platonic and innocent.

It was just about random and embarrassing shit like what's the worst prank you've puled or what's the worst horror move to come out of Hollywood.

We've not talked about her proposal date and she hasn't pushed the subject.

I will accept her proposal. When? I don't know.

Lisa: I know. Wish you were here. It'd be so epic if you came.

Rosé's dresses stare at me on the hanger in front of my closet and for a second, just a small second, I contemplate making a change in decision. They are pretty, almost too pretty to not be worn.