Red Rooms I Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

20. Chemical reactions

He sensed something wasn't right. He knew exactly what was going on the second you started to stutter after recalling your ex. His heart dropping as he put one and one together. Ghost didn't even need to know anything more. The look on your face as you sat there on the sofa, all huddled up in the center of it was all too familiar, flashbacks of his own abusive past. It was different with an alcoholic dad that beats you up every now and then, not knowing your exact history, but seeing the aftermath of trauma of any kind he knew all too well. He understood what was going on in an instant. And you did not deserve any of whatever that ex of yours has done to you.

His walk towards you is controlled but fast, he wants to reach you before it gets worse. "Not her, fucks sake" he thinks whilst sitting down next to you, quickly squeezing your shoulder and letting you know that someone is there for you. His mind was focused now. It was only focusing on you and your wellbeing, clear & sharp.

He looks into your eyes to check if there is the chance of you dissociating, it does not look that way though. You're still there. Good.

" 'm sorry" being the only thing he can manage to say right now, as everything hits too close to home, you just nod absently.

"It's fine, was a long time ago" you mumble.

Well, that's bullshit. Your past can creep up on you  for all eternity, if you don't deal with it.

He's really bad in this. He knows what to do physically, small things and hacks that calm the human body down in stressful situations, simple chemical reactions happening in the brain. But the emotional side, that kind of support. Finding the right words for comfort, that he couldn't offer. He really wish he could right now though. But there is nothing. No "It'll get better", no "Don't worry about it", simply nothing he can think of saying right now. Plus: He barely even knows you, if at all...He doesn't know your comfort food, movie, what you do in your free time...That makes things certainly bit harder to deal with. So he asks you if you need anything, one can't go wrong with that.

"You being here helps quite a lot, Simon" she says...Guess that's good to hear, tiny Pearl.

He looks at your quivering lips, telling him that this is not getting better anytime soon.

You're safe he says. It's not much, but it's a fact. Even if someone were to break into your apartment right now, it would be the last time they would be doing that. You're safe.

He sees something changing in your eyes, are you coming back again? Is it all helping, after all? He listens to you repeat his words, a small glimpse of hope, before you break right there in front of him. He swallows, his hand balling into a fist. Anger fueling him at whatever that tosser's done to you. Okay, next step, Simon. His mind working like a clockwork. He hugs you. That type of hug where the person completely covers you, protecting you from any possible harm the outside world could throw your way. If you didn't believe him when he said that you're safe, you certainly must do so now. You sniffle into his longsleeve, he can feel you sobbing and your warm tears being absorbed by the fabric. You cried loudly, forcing him to shut his eyes. Next step.

His strong hand begins stroking your hair. This is a classic thing that comforts many people, no matter what. No matter the age, gender, anything. Having your head pet , rubbed, massaged, it helps calm the muscle tension that's going on there. And that is his goal, to calm the little storm that's going on in your head right now.  Which seems to work, your sobs become less. Your eyes open slightly, he can see. He feels all of you in his arms, and so he feels your breath steadying. Calming down. Yes, bird. You can make it through this storm, c'mon.

Of course he also takes notice of you smelling him now. He's seen your fragrance collection in your bedroom, the flacons neatly assorted on what looks like a make-up table or something. He smiles at you probably trying to focus on his fragrance that he put on before picking you up, hopefully finding some comfort in it.

As he feels the tension leaving your body and you easing up in his arms, he is certain that you found a little bit of peace there.