Destroyed For All Others

Chapter 5 - The Elevator

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Allegra

This cannot be happening. My heart does a somersault in my chest, my stomach dropping as the elevator comes to a screeching halt. The light flickers on and off momentarily before being replaced with the dim glow of a red emergency light.

Okay, I can do this. Don't freak out, don't freak out, I say to myself, inhaling deeply before releasing my breath again, willing my erratic heartbeat to return to normal. The anxiety bubbling up makes me feel like I need to pee, my palms sweaty as my body floods with adrenaline. My mouth is dry and as much as I will steady breathing, my breathing is short and ragged, the enclosed space making me feel like there isn't enough oxygen. I feel lightheaded.

I'm having a panic attack. It is a feeling I know well. Granted this was the first panic attack in two months, the feeling is not easy to forget. Pinpointing the trigger is also not difficult as memories of me banging on unmoving elevator doors while tears stream down my face take up occupancy in my mind. Calling on the meditation techniques I learned during my therapy sessions, I try to visualize myself in a large meadow surrounded by wildflowers. The image stays for a second or two before being forced out as the offending memory returns.

During this time I am faintly aware of Niklaus calling reception and instructing them to get elevator technicians asap. He sounds agitated and no doubt he was. This was a prestigious hotel, and if this happened to anyone else they may not be very understanding. The rich and famous hated being inconvenienced, and this would be considered one if they experienced it.

"Allegra," the agitated tone is replaced by one of concern as Niklaus gently lays his hands on my shaking shoulders, "you're having a panic attack. Count to five and take a deep breath through your nose."

I open my eyes, looking straight into concerned gray ones.

"Count to five and breathe in deeply through your nose." He repeats as I do what he says, breathing in deeply while counting.

"Good, now breathe out through your mouth while counting to five." I do as instructed, cycling through this action for a couple of minutes while my heart rate steadies itself. Niklaus patiently counts with me, his gaze unwavering as he helps me calm down.

Staring at him I am once again treated to the little black speckles of his gray iris, the same black as his hair which is shaved short on the sides while the top is longer, stylish gelled into place. It matches his tuxedo which is tailored, the precision of the fit alluding to the fact that this has been custom-made to this particular man's body. A body that is no doubt toned and fit. I absentmindedly look to the side, taking in the strong hand gently gripping my shoulder. His fingers are long, the nails well-manicured. I look back at him, a small smile now on his face as he silently observes me observing him. The blush creeping up my face is unstoppable.

"Thank you. I'm sorry about this," I say, looking away while his gaze remains fixed on my face.

"How do you know how to handle this so well?" I ask him, looking for a way to unawkward this awkward situation.

"My mother suffered from panic attacks. I hated standing by helplessly, so I learned how to help her when she had one. Came in handy today." He releases his grip on my shoulders, taking a step backward. Thankfully, as his spicy cologne was making me heady. His whole self was actually, I admit begrudgingly. He is a very alluring man. From the way he looks, to his powerful, assertive aura—the complete opposite of myself.

He surprises me with such a personal admission. He did not appear to be someone who shared personal information freely. His intimidating aura made me think he was strategically selective in what he disclosed. Telling people only what they needed or wanted to hear for it to benefit him. I hated judging people, especially when I was so often on the receiving end, and yet here I was, being hypocritical and doing the very thing I despised. He brought out the worst in me.

"You're frowning," he says, catching me mid-chastise.

"You bring out the worst in me," I say honestly, too tired for games.

"How? You don't even know me." He doesn't sound offended by my words, quite the opposite in fact. There is a tinge of humor hiding in his reprimand.

"I know, which makes this all the more frustrating. That I am allowing a complete stranger to impact me in this way." I run a hand through my hair in frustration, avoiding the gaze that remains steadily locked on me.

"I impact you," he states, a smile in his voice. I know if I look up, I will probably see the most handsome smile I have ever seen so I avoid doing just that.

"It must be because you are attracted to me. Don't feel bad, I have that effect on most women." His words achieve what I have been avoiding. My gaze snaps up, meeting his. The lazy smile on his face is devilishly good-looking. Almost sinful. It is as good as I knew it would be.

"I am not." Liar, liar, pants on fire. My body recognizes the lie and counters it with the truth as my heart rate increases, its increase causing my chest to rise and fall more rapidly. I blush but do not look away. Looking away would be an admission, one I was not willing to give.

"No?" he says, taking a small step toward me.

I flatten myself against the elevator wall, conscious of the tightening in my lower stomach, not from an impending panic attack but from the arousal this man is pulling from my depths. The feeling is almost foreign it's been so long.

"No," I say defiantly, holding his gaze as he takes another small step, our bodies inches from each other. I can feel the heat coming from his body as his spicy scent engulfs me like a blanket.

He leans forward, his finger moving my mousy brown hair behind my ear. The graze of his finger against my cheek sends a shiver down my traitorous body.

"Your body is telling me otherwise," he whispers, his breath on my ear causing an eruption of goosebumps on my flesh. "The way you are breathing and the color of your cheeks. You are attracted to me."

My eyes close unconsciously while my head moves away from his mouth, inadvertently giving him access to my neck. I breathe in deeply, trying to steady myself.

"No," I whisper, the words not coming out as defiantly strong as I had hoped. My head feels like it's swimming, his breath fanning my neck like a wind blowing my senses away.

His head moves, his mouth coming to rest inches from mine as I straighten my head. His breath is minty and his presence so close makes my mouth dry. I open my eyes, my vision almost unsteady as his presence destabilizes me. His eyes flick between my mouth and my eyes, his intention clear.

"So if I kissed you, it would do nothing to you?" he asks huskily, my body tensing as my thighs squeeze together, their need unmistakable. His eyes astutely take in every little movement of my body, from the slight shake of my head to the hitch of my breath, to the clench of my thighs, before meeting my gaze again.

With the gauntlet set, he leans down, my heart nearly beating out of my chest in anticipation.

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