Pass me the coffee or wine!

How to deal with the " Karen's" of the world

In recent times the term " Karen" has been thrown around. I do have some outstanding colleagues called Karen. They are so lovely and funny. I feel horrible using the name like that. It has become universal with entitled cow bags. Working in a customer service-based job, I have had my fair share of run-ins with a few Karens. I will never get over the way they talk to you. Like you beneath them that their time is worth more than yours. I watched as the world went into chaos when Covid hit. I saw the best of humanity and the worst. These are some of the stories from then. Lockdown lunacy,  That's what I call it. Adam and I were vital workers. Nothing changed for us. We still had our day-to-day lives. The only thing that changed for Adam was all the gyms were closed. He's never been a big drinker or very social. If he didn't have to have social interaction daily, I think he would be thrilled in his little bubble.
When the lockdown was announced, it wasn't much of a shock. It had been a long time coming. A lot of countries had already sanctioned lockdowns. We, the U.K., were just a bit late to the party. So, being a customer service assistant at a top-rated supermarket. I was on the front line. I worked in the home shopping department. ( somebody) suspended regular service for the first few weeks. The local government gave us a list of the NHS, and I'm not sure which, of vulnerable People. We were responsible for ensuring that they were Given everything they asked for/ ordered within reason. As time went on, ( somebody) placed restrictions on items. We have all seen the crazy over toilet roll. But before the regulations, I had one of the most oversized orders I've ever received, to this very day. I remember it clearly - forty-two packets of chicken instant noodles, forty-two packets of curry instant noodles, ten chicken and mushroom pasta & sauce, ten macaroni and cheese pasta & sauce, three kg of fusilli pasta, three kg of penne pasta, five packets of spaghetti, and five packets of long grain rice. That was just the cupboard staples. Then came the tinned foods. Twenty tins of baked beans., chopped tomatoes, spaghetti and tuna. Twenty of each product was food hoarding at its finest. Ridiculous. Thank goodness the company put rules in place. My favourite order included bars of chocolate, fizzy pop, crates of lager and a few bottles of spirits. Now - that's how to do a lockdown. Understandably a select few were affected by the sanctions, they understood. There was the small minority that were complete and utter cock Wombles about it. The few that were visible in the store, in uniform, got hellfire rained upon them.
What's the male equivalent of a Karen? A Kevin? Let us go with Kevin. There was a young girl who worked on the checkouts as a team leader. she was lovely, friendly and always going above and beyond to help. For the retelling, we shall call her charlie. This despicable human, Kevin, had loaded his trolley full of toilet rolls. The twenty-four pack of Andex. More than enough for one person. There were signs on all the relevant shelves that clearly stated the number of products per person could purchase. Kevin thought this didn't relate to him and decided to be a selfish twat. So off he goes to queue at the checkouts, with his trolley full of toilet roll. Charlie, bless her, went up to Kevin " sir, did you not read the sign on the shelf?" this absolute douche looked behind him to see who charlie was speaking to. she couldn't possibly be addressing him! " sir?" He seemed to remember that he could put a string of words together to form a sentence " me? Oh yes, I saw the sign."
" then, as you know, sir, to ensure we have enough stock and supplies for all customers, we have limited how many you can purchase."
" yes, I did read that. thank you."
"Sir, I'm sorry, but you can only have one of those packs. The rest will have to go back on the shelf for others."
"I need them all. So no. I'm not only Buying one pack. I have an extensive family."
For context, I should tell you that many people were buying massive amounts of toilet rolls, pasta and other products, selling them on amazon and eBay at exorbitant prices once the shortages started.
" That may be the case, sir, but you won't be allowed through the checkout with all these."
This is where the significant arsehat behaviour of Kevin kicked in.
"You're going to stop me, are you? You? You dare to put hands on me, and ill get you done for assault."
"Sir, I can assure you I'm not going to put my hands on you. I will take the trolley and leave you one multipack."
" You can't take them. They're mine!" Kevin grabbed the trolley and wouldn't let go.
"Sir, I can take them as the products still belong to the store." at this point, the store duty manager had been notified, plus store security. Seeing that he wasn't getting what he wanted by being intimidating, he resorted to the Lowest of the low.
" I hope you die! I hope you get COVID and die. I hope your family gets cancer and dies. I hope it is painful." with that, he was escorted out of the store without any toilet roll.
Charlie was doing her job at the time. It was a tough time for everyone. she didn't deserve that. she was distraught and sent home. That was some ruthless shit! Some people were so lovely and understanding. There was a woman who was buying baby milk and had put four in her basket. Before she could get to the checkout to pay, I caught up to her and told her she would only be able to purchase two tins of the formula. She told me that she was buying two for herself and two for her friend who needed them but couldn't leave the house as she was isolated. She had COVID. I replied that they wouldn't let her go through the checkouts with them. So, I told her I would hold on to two of the tins while she purchased the other two, and then she could just come back and get them. she wouldn't have to queue up outside again; she could just come back through the self-serve checkouts. I could tell she was unsure, so I went to the self-serve and waited for her to return. She thanked me, and we " armed" each other. ( like a fist bump but with forearms) social distancing, after all. I loved helping people, those who genuinely needed it—customers who were grateful and didn't abuse you.
  The worst Karen I encountered involved Ketchup. Ketchup, of all fucking things. Karen wanted some ketchup in a glass bottle, but we didn't have any in stock. We have a multitude of plastic recyclable plastic bottles. All different sizes. No! It was not good enough. she then told me, not very politely. Karen told me, " go in the back and look. and you better not come back empty-handed!" I did what she asked, and I went into the warehouse and checked through the grocery cages. Nothing! I asked one of the warehouse/backdoor men. they checked. The answer was still no. But she said I couldn't go back empty-handed! What could I do? the only I could think to do. In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best thing to do - annoy and wind up the Karen. I selected a few bottles of all different sizes, and I took them out to her.
"Well?"
"I'm sorry, madam, but we haven't got the glass bottles in stock. I checked the warehouse and our delivery app. it doesn't say when it will be back in stock."
" What's in your hands?"
" You said not to come back empty-handed. So, I brought a selection of ketchup we have in stock for you." 
"Are you fucking serious?"
" Yes, madam, I thought this might be helpful to you."
" Are you fully there in the head?"
" I can assure you, madam, and I have all my faculties."
" I don't want any of those bottles. I want the glass bottle."
" I explained, madam, we currently don't have any in stock at this time."
" You are useless. You are no help. What am I supposed to do?"
" We have a vast selection of ke ketchup. multiple brands"
" I. DON'T.WANT.THOSE.ONES! ( insert the foot stamp)  Her face was all red. I had poked the bear, and I was rather enjoying it.
"I'm sorry, madam, I've looked in the warehouse. I did what you asked, and I also showed you alternatives. There is nothing more I can do."
"That's not helping. What am  supposed to do?"
" Well, madam, as I explained, we have a selection of ketchup. If they are not to your taste, may I suggest another condiment?"
"You're a fucking butch!"
Now I wasn't having fun. Now I was getting pissed off.
" yeah, so I've been told a few times. But so are you. Now I've tried to help you, and I've gone above and beyond to help you. I Climbed in cages in the warehouse, asked and searched an app I don't have access to, and dealt with your fucking attitude. Over fucking ketchup! I do not get paid enough to take or deal with your shit. I'm going to help you once more, out of the goodness of my heart. Why don't you fuck off elsewhere? I'm sure someone else will help you."
I walked away smiling. I'm sure Karen complained, but I didn't hear about it. We were under a lot of pressure at the time. I think she was recognised universally as a Karen. So, we customer service assistants stick together. We have each other's backs. Another time I had an interaction with a Karen was rather stupid. I was doing my job, minding my business, when Karen approached me.
" Excuse me. Can you help me?"
" I can try, madam," I said, smiling at her with my most helpful and welcoming smile.
" I need something. I need pastry."
" O.K. What kind of pastry?"
" The kind already made."
" O.k. That I can help with. Fresh pastry?"
" Yes."
So I took Karen to the aisle, to the exact product location.  " Here you go, madame. Ready-made pastry."
" This is what I wanted."
" This is all our fresh pastry, madam, and I can take you to the pastry packets you make yourself?"
" No. It's fine. This will have to do."
" ok, madam. I'm glad I could help."
I walked back to my job and continued to get people's shopping. I must have continued on for about fifteen minutes when I felt a tap on my shoulder. " Erm, excuse me!"
I turned around with a smile and " Yes", I was face to face with Karen. Again!
" I found the pastry you said you didn't have"
" Madam. I took you to the fresh pastry section, as you asked me to. You thanked me. So I came back to do my job."
" Well, it wasn't the pastry I wanted. I found it no thanks to you. See!" Karen showed me the packet she had in her hand. Shaking it is my fave.
" Madam, you asked for fresh pastry."
" Yes. What do I have in my hand?"
". E.rm, pastry, but...."
" This is what I wanted. This is what I asked you for—fresh pastry. But you didn't show me this. I had to find it myself."
" Madam, I showed you our fresh pastry section."
" But this is what I wanted."
" Yes, madam. Where did you find it?"
" On the back wall. It's what I wanted."
" Fresh pastry, madam?"
" Yes, that's what I asked for. Fresh pastry."
" Right, ok. You asked me for fresh pastry, and that is what I took you to and showed you."
" But this ( putting the pastry right up to my face, grazing my nose) is what i wanted."
I was beyond caring now, and I couldn't be arsed with her shit.
" So, just so we are clear. You asked for fresh pastry. I took you to the FRESH  pastry section. YOU were happy enough, so I left you with it. But you decided to search the store, to tell me I didn't take you to the product you asked me to. Did I get that correct?"
" Yes. That's correct. You deliberately took me to the wrong thing and wasted my time. I'm going to put a complaint against you. I just wanted your name."
" That's your prerogative, madam. My name is Emma H, and I work in the home shopping department."
"I'm going to tell the manager exactly what you did."
" Yes, madam. You can tell the manager I did what you asked me to do. My job"
" No, you didn't. I had to find this on my own."
" Fresh pastry?"
" YES! "
" That's what you wanted?"
" YES. IT IS WHAT I WANTED! WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING? YOU ARE A DIM WIT!"
" Madam, that's frozen pastry!"
I started laughing. Her face had a look of confusion, which made me laugh even harder. I did my job. I did what she asked. It was her stupidity and douchebaggery that was her downfall. There were many more interactions with Karens throughout the lockdown, but those were the memorable ones. Customer service assistants dealt with so much during that time: crazies and wild animals. The entitled. Not only that, but because we were around people, we were at high risk of contracting COVID. We had all the lockdown worries on top of having to deal with that shit.
I saw some beautiful acts of kindness, people helping one another. My department became more than work colleagues. We became a family. We had each other's backs. We had to. We were there together through thick and thin. Even now, we are still all close. But- If any Karen"s want to start.... We know how to deal with you! Just understand when I smile and say yes, madam - The fuck you is implied! That's how you deal with the Karen's of the world!