my gyu || taegyu

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‘does anyone have that one particular experience in their life where something so random happened out of the blue? and whenever you try to say it out loud or tell about it to anyone, it seemed like it didn't happen? like everything was just made up by your imagination.

that feeling where you felt like everything isn't real — like everything felt so uncomfortable all of a sudden. and it gave you the feeling that you're being watched.

these past few days had been...

it felt like-

...

...

...

i don't know...

i don't know what to say...

...what would gyu say..?

what would he do if he was in my position..?’

~ thursday, 15:37 ~

“aunty, how are you feeling?”

taehyun asked the crying woman. beomhee held onto taehyun's arm, wiping her tears off her face. “it all happened so fast... i-” she answered, in a whisper, but was still loud enough for taehyun to hear, “i never got to tell him... how sorry i was... for not being a good mother to him...”

all he could do was silently comfort her... unable to say anything.

he glanced at the grave of his once beloved. his mind still refusing to believe it. it doesn't feel real.

nothing... feels real.

“thank you, taehyun.” said beomhee, wiping her tears once more with a sorrowful smile on her face, “thank you for making my son happy. and thank you... for staying by his side...”

it's not true.

“here.”

taehyun snaps away from his thoughts as he heard beomhee. he finds her handing him an envelope with his name written on the back, “he wanted me to give you this.”

to his surprise, it was the same envelope he say beomgyu bought during their date. the one where... he probably doesn't want to remember it. he takes the envelope, staring at it, unable to say anything. almost felt like he forgot how to breathe.

“how are you feeling, child?” he hears beomhee asked him. he looked up at her, still unable to speak. “you're probably still shocked from what's happening that you're still unsure how to react.”

i don't feel real.

“i... i don't know...” taehyun whispered, avoiding to look at beomhee. he couldn't bring himself to stare at his grave. he refused to believe it's really his... despite seeing how beomgyu's name was written.

“take care of yourself, okay..?” said beomhee, hugging the boy infront of her. taehyun, on the other hand, unable to say anything. he wanted to, but something in his mind is stopping him. this bitter feeling was very familiar to him

~ 20:34 / soogyu's shared dorm ~

as soon as taehyun entered the dorm, he was greeted with quite the messy sight. he walked towards the couch and finds soobin laying there. he was a mess — he was staring at the ceiling, hair was messy, his fave was full of dried tear marks, eyes were bloodshot; he was still quietly sobbing but no tears were coming out of his eyes.

“you're a mess.”

taehyun spoke, staring at the older boy infront of him. soobin just laughed a bit, still looking at the ceiling, “you're as shitty as always.”

taehyun could only roll his eyes at the older boy's response. he sighed as he decided to sit down on the floor, next to the couch soobin was laying. “well then, we can be shitty together.”

...

...

...

silence...

it's so loud...

...

“how are you feeling..?” soobin asked, his voice was hoarse from all the crying he did, “gyu told me you tend to not take things like this very well... so i—”

“no, how are you feeling?”

soobin stopped himself from talking as he heard the question the younger boy had asked him. no one has ever... i...

soobin could only laugh to himself. he couldn't bring himself to answer taehyun's question. but—

“gyu and i had been together since middle school, basically almost half my life...” soobin whispered, as soon as he calmed down from his pathetic laughter, “it feels like... i lost half of myself.”

...i felt like i lost myself...

✧ ~ • ~ • ~ ✧

pls ask me random questions, i'm bored (⁠´⁠;⁠︵⁠;⁠'⁠)