The Twelve Letters | Hermitcraft/Empires AU

January 31 - Letter One

You're not gone. You're still here with all of us. I can see you with us still. I can hear your voice. You're not gone. What is everyone saying?

I'm not sure myself, but the others have started to notice a "change of behavior" with me. I don't know what they're talking about. You probably know, right?

Xisuma told me that it was normal to feel that way. "You'll be in denial for at least a little while. December was that big change for you. And right now, you're in bad denial."

I told him he was making some nonsense up. He laughed at me, and shook his head. I'm not in denial though. You're here. Definitely.

Grian came by to stay with me for the first week of January. I asked him why he wanted to stay with me.

"You're not doing well. Scar told me to check up on you," he tells me, and I shake my head.

I told him he didn't have to. I'm fine on my own.

"Clearly, you're not." He's stubborn like that. You know that of course. You've spent a lot of time talking with Grian. Practically, Grian is always stubborn.

So for the first week, he stayed with me and made me food. He made sure I slept, and listened to me. I feel bad for not paying him for taking care of me. He told me he didn't mind if I payed him or not. That's his way of saying that he doesn't want to get payed.

But I feel guilty about breaking down in front of him. He let me cry though. Is that good?

I'm not too sure. That's the problem now, though. I'm not sure about stuff. You help me understand a lot. Maybe you'll help me later.

The second and third week was Joel and Grian visiting me whenever they could. No matter what it was, they'd help me.

That reminds me of you. You've been in your room for ages. You barely came out of it. Grian keeps telling me you're not here.

"You need to accept it soon. He's gone," he tells me. I shake my head.

He's not gone. That's what I tell him every time. Grian will then shake his head and tell me to go sleep. I go sleep of course.

Grian has been trying to get me to go out more, but it's not really working well. Xisuma told him to let me have a break for a few days, and Grian seemed pissed off.

So I'm writing this letter to you. And it's going under the door. You know that of course though. But I'm confused on why you haven't left your room at all this month. I have been knocking countless of times and you don't respond.

I'm getting worried. Are you sick? I don't hear anything from your room.

You might want to explain the nonsense that Grian and Xisuma is telling me. They're telling me your gone, but you're here.

Right?