The Twelve Letters | Hermitcraft/Empires AU

April 30th - Letter Four

It's fair to say I've been more angry at myself than before. It's probably because I'm realising what happened with you. God, who knows. I don't know myself.

Four months pass by very quickly, if it's not obvious. Already four letters written to you. And I noticed that I don't really write about what I want to do for you to know. I just keep it to myself.

So here. I was planning on making my mega base a couple hundred blocks away since that's what the Hermits did before our merge. I haven't planned it all out yet. I need to find a place for it before I start doing anything.

I started going out of the house more. I know, very surprising for me as well Jimmy. I basically have trapped myself in this house without going out.

Xisuma had told me about the meeting they had the first week this month. They were going to have another meeting last week, and they wanted me to be there.

In the second week, Grian asked me if we could take a walk together. I wanted to say no, ask him why he pranked you. Why did it have to be you? I didn't ask though. I didn't really reply to him either, and he shrugged. I walked out the door, and Grian followed me.

"Sorry about everything, really I am," Grian apologised, and I looked down.

It's fine.

"No, it's not. I didn't think of what I was doing. Xisuma never told you why he's dead permanently, right?"

No. He never did. Or mentioned it.

"Oh god. I'll have to ask him if I can tell you. I'm sorry though. I really am."

Stop apologising.

"Not when I killed our friend. It's my fault."

It's my fault for not being there.

"It's not."

Yes, it is. If I was there, he would still be with us. I could've told him to look back. But I decided to stay home.

"No, no. It's my fault for bringing the creeper towards him and not saying anything. Stop blaming yourself, it's my fault." Grian noticed I was shaking, and started messaging someone on his communicator.

I don't remember what happened afterwards. I wasn't at our house, though. Somebody was at my side, and it was Joel. I didn't know why Joel was here, but he noticed me awake.

"Grian brought you to my house. I was the nearest base to where you guys were."

Oh, okay.

"Yeah." Joel didn't know what else to say, so I got up, and noticed the cup of water next to the bed. I drank it without thinking, and started to leave.

"Where are you going?"

Going on a walk back home.

"Xisuma told me to keep you here."

I don't care.

"Wait!" I didn't wait. I left his base, but immediately dropped onto the ground. My shoulder was in pain. I couldn't move, I just stayed where I was.

I looked around, and noticed we were in a forest area. There was another base nearby, but I didn't really try to find out who lived there.

Yeah, the second week was a blast. I got forced to stay with Joel until my shoulder got better.

Right, the meeting last week. I almost forgot about that, Jimmy.

Xisuma had to bring me because he didn't trust me yet with an elytra. I wouldn't have trusted myself either.

I was having bad moments at home still, Jimmy. I was still destroying stuff, and blaming myself. It was a routine, basically. Just think of what I wrote in last month's letter, and you know what I did. Except, not a lot of people visited. Aka the usual people who came by.

I didn't pay attention to the meeting. All I heard was something about our bases and plans for this world. I noticed a few people staring at me, but I didn't care. I never mentioned it to them.

I'll probably describe to you how the meeting place looked like next letter. My hands are hurting from writing, and I've been writing for a while now.

Letters are difficult, I guess.