The Twelve Letters | Hermitcraft/Empires AU

August 19th + 31st - Letter Eight

August 19th

I asked Xisuma about it but he kept telling me no. I asked him why he couldn't but he didn't respond. I don't understand how he can't bring you back. He's an admin, he should be able to bring you back. His practice with coding should help him bring you back, Jimmy!

I don't get what's so difficult. He just has to type out a couple of commands and it should bring you back. Maybe he wants you to stay dead.

Sometimes I wished we could swap places. Instead of you being dead, I would be dead and you would be alive! It'd be a better deal than what we have going on right now. Either way, there would be grief going around the server.

Maybe I'm being selfish? Or I'm being a dumbass.

If I'm being honest, I feel like a little kid who wants their friend back. Like, their friend moved away for a long time, aka never coming back to the neighborhood. And they want them to come back. That's what I feel like, except you're dead. 

The past few nights are strange. Well, not strange, but terrifying. I've been having a lot of nightmares. Most of them are about you dying, but in a slower way and I'm watching you die. I'm standing there but I can't do anything because I'm being forced to watch by someone.

Sometimes it would be Grian, who'd tape me to the chair, and blow you up with a creeper again. It would take a while though. He would start cutting your arms with a knife, and let you bleed out a lot before bringing the creeper.

Or it would be Xisuma, which is strange. It's never clear how he kills you, but there would sometimes be a large code above you, and you'd try to "grab" the code. I think it's trying to show that you want to destroy the code. Instead you'd just pass out, and Xisuma would plunge a sword into you.

I hate those dreams.

August 31st

Everything hurts. I'm not sure why, but maybe it's because I keep getting annoyed at myself.

Planning my mega base is my main priority right now. I started to ignore people again and locked myself into my room. Nobody comes in my room since I won't let them.

Xisuma passed by a day or two ago (I don't actually know, I haven't been keeping track until now) and asked me what happened. I told him to go away. I was quite scared because of the dreams. I had to remind myself that they were only dreams.

"You don't seem okay. Do you want to talk?" he asked, and I yelled at him to leave.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure." There were footsteps, and silence. I was pretty sure he left and unlocked my door, realising I was hungry.

I hadn't really gotten anything to eat this month because of the nightmares and base planning. It's fine, though!

What wasn't fine was that Xisuma was still in our base, and sitting on the floor near the door. I told him to leave and he shook his head. There wasn't much else to say so I started to make something to eat. I don't remember what it was, but I know it was a sweet food.

Xisuma watched me eat before saying, "I'll try to bring Jimmy back."

Really?

"Yeah. It might be possible." He smiled at me and then looked at the floor.

This is exciting news, Jimmy! You might come back!

And yes, I did give Xisuma a hug. You always tell me that I should hug people when they do something for me. Your welcome.

I really hope he finds a way to bring you back. We can finally talk to each other again!