"Still Just A Screw Up, Carver" - Eddie Munson & Y/N Sequel

TEN ~ It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

~ Eddie POV ~
She was so distraught after the doctors told her the baby was gone, she screamed and cried and became hysterical, I'd never heard a sound quite like it before. She blamed herself over and over again and no matter what I said, what anyone said, she still just screamed and cried until she was almost sick and her body was so exhausted. The docs said it was only small, no more than maybe 6 weeks which confirmed it was mine, but I couldn't let myself break down about it right now. She needed me. Finding out it was our baby only made her worse, she'd pinned so much hope for the future of our relationship on this tiny little baby that when it was gone she thought she'd lost everything. She'd gotten herself into such a state that they'd sedated her again, leaving me sat at her bedside as I stared at her sleeping face for days and reading chapters of the Hobbit to her just to fill the room with something other than the constant beeping of the machines surrounding her.

Harrington walked out the second he'd learned it wasn't his baby and I hadn't seen or heard from him since. I don't think it was because he was angry but because he didn't know how to feel about losing something that wasn't his to lose in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I felt for the guy but I couldn't stop thinking about how overworked she felt and I'd wondered if he'd ever stopped to consider that himself - part of me really wanted to blame him, but I knew she shouldn't have wanted that and it wasn't going to make it any better for either of us. I called her parents and Jason to let them know what happened, Chrissy being pregnant at the moment made it really tough for them both to hear it but it didn't stop them racing down here to see her, even though she wouldn't be awake to see them. Wayne and her parents passed the kids back and forth so they could all take turns in stopping by too, I didn't think it would hit Wayne the way it did but he was a fucking mess. He sobbed pretty hard when he came by, stopped at her beside and just cried - I'd never seen him like this before, not even when we found out my mom died or even when my grandma died and that was his own mother.

When the docs were satisfied she'd been under long enough, they got her booked in to see a number of shrinks, each of them offering their own insight into how she should be feeling or what we could both do moving forward. She clocked each of them the moment they walked in the room, asking them one by one if they'd ever lost a child before and each of them confessing that their knowledge of this subject came only from textbooks which made her withdraw from them right away. After another few days of quacks and shrinks putting their two cents in, they'd agree I could take her home and let her 'healing' continue in the comfort of her own home. I was terrified of taking her home, having to be the soul carer for her at a time like this was something I'd never been good at but thankfully the label and crew were more than happy to put meetings and trips on hold until we were ready and our families offered to take the kids for however long we needed them to. It felt like a lot to ask to get them to do school runs, feed them and take care of them for days on end, but I wasn't sure how either of us would cope with them at a time like this.

Word got around Hawkins pretty quickly and before we knew it most of the town and all our friends knew what had happened too, not the Harrington thing but just that we'd lost baby Munson. I still couldn't picture Wheeler and Henderson as adults, but at a time like this I was glad they weren't nerdy little kids anymore. It was our third night back at the house and I'd tucked my girl back into bed, although she hadn't really gotten out of it all day and Henderson, Sinclair and Red came over for a few hours, Wheeler offered to come too by but he'd be bringing El and Will, and I thought it might be too many people for Y/N right now. I'd only really seen half of them on the kids birthdays and even then I was normally too preoccupied by sugar-hyped kids or engulfed in screaming matches with Y/N, it was bittersweet that such a tragedy had brought us back together again.

"I'm so sorry, man. I-I don't really don't know what else to say." I love Henderson, he'll always be one of my best friends and right now I'm so thankful him and Wheeler had no friends that first say I saw them.
"Thanks, bud. You really don't need to say anything else. It's enough just having you guys here." I toasted my soda toward him as he raised his beer in return, I didn't wanna drink while Y/N needed me but I had no objections to the others doing it. It still freaks me out watching any of them drinking but they're like 24/25 now and god knows I was drinking and doing worse way younger than that. It felt oddly normal having them around again, like back in the 80s when we'd spend the evenings together after Hellfire Club; before the music and the fame and the divorce. You'd almost forget the turmoil and suffering this house had faced these last couple of weeks if it weren't for the occasional quiet sobs heard from the bedroom upstairs, even while she slept she'd sob lightly.