"Still Just A Screw Up, Carver" - Eddie Munson & Y/N Sequel

THIRTEEN ~ How Soon Is Now? *

~ Eddie POV ~
It's not like I'd expected everything to go totally back to normal after bringing her home from her self inflicted exile in the forest, but after almost three months I thought we'd have at least gotten a little back on track. As far as the happy family life with the kids goes, everything was fine there - great even! And even the romance between us had flourished almost like all of the bad shit from the last few years never even happened. I don't wanna sound like I've only got one thing on my mind, but I couldn't help noticing that the intimacy between us never really reignited. Sure, we'd become entangled in these fucking incredible make out sessions that would often lead to steamier moments where hands would explore each others bodies but nothing would ever go beyond the foreplay. Her touch was intoxicating and the feeling of her body crumbling from just my hands and lips was like a drug, but it never went any further. I'd tried everything to make her more comfortable; sending the kids to Wayne's or her parents for the night, movies, dinners, candles... even those fucking oils and shit she used to love, but as soon as we'd reached our peaks through touch alone she'd come over all withdrawn again.

I got the feeling it was fear; the overwhelming fear of getting pregnant again and the debilitating fear of losing it again. I'd tired to broach the subject a few times, even tried to discuss contraception options with her but every time she'd shut down the conversation and try to reassure me that she was fine and we'd talk about it when she was ready. Right around Christmas I noticed she was getting a little more 'touchy-feely' and every time we were alone her hand would find it's way to my thigh and tease it's way delicately up and down the fabric of my jeans. I tried to shrug it off and not overthink it but the agonising ache in my pants was strangulating and I'd almost forget to breathe under her touch. I wanted to throw her onto the couch and fuck her senseless, make her feel the way she deserved to - worship her like the fucking goddess she was... but I couldn't. I totally freaked out each time it felt like we were getting close to that moment, made the same lame ass excuse that I didn't wanna rush her into anything every time and I could tell it was upsetting her, but I just couldn't stop myself from freaking out.

With Christmas only a couple of days away, I'd been out stomping through Hawkins for groceries and trying to find her something absolutely perfect for our first Christmas back together - mostly as a distraction from the gnawing ache in my god damn balls every time I was around her. Hawkins was surprisingly beautiful at Christmas time, the houses were delicately illuminated with lights and when it got real cold the streets were peppered with a blanket of snow, no matter where I'd been in the whole world when touring, Hawkins at Christmas was always my favourite place to be - even when I was a kid and Christmas in my family was a little less 'merry and joyful' than everyone else's. The town just took on a new life when it was bedazzled in lights and encased in glistening snow, no matter what shit was happening in the privacy of their houses, the townsfolk always lavished their homes with festive decor and pitched in with the towns merriments and celebrations. Even our house was dressed to the nines and looked the part, hiding the traumas and heightened emotions within behind lights and garlands and crudely made snowmen in the front yard decorated of course, with my hats and scarves... thank you, Arwen.

It was a warming sight seeing my house all lit up and magical but I knew how much the blue balls from my fiancé would sting once I got inside, I'm not mad at her and I don't blame her for being scared either, I just wish she'd let me in a tiny bit more. Laden with grocery bags and Christmas gifts, I managed to lock up the car and start the journey toward the front door. I still hated leaving Y/N on her own, but thankful she was in charge of the kids today so I almost had a guarantee she wasn't gonna bail again. I heard nothing but silence on the other side of the wooden door, filling my body with dread once I'd opened it and saw the kids coats and boots missing from the hall. Tell me hasn't? She hasn't run again, surely? "I'm home!... Hello?" I called out expecting to me met with the stomping sounds of the kids hurtling through the house toward me, but instead it was silent. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I groaned as I dropped the bags on the hallway floor and began searching every room downstairs for any sign of where she might have gone this time. The ground floor yielded no results so I started my ascent up the stairs in hopes that maybe seeing what she'd taken with her would give me a clue as to her whereabouts. "Y/N? Princess? You home?" I called out again but my hopes of hearing a response were waning, the upstairs was just as deafeningly silent as downstairs.