The Hunt: A Jesperi Kotkaniemi Fanfiction

19. Jesperi

Sascha and I decided to meet at one of the small coffeeshops located outside the city. She has a strict rule of not letting her sister and Valter to see us, or anyone who knows me and her. I seriously hated it, but today I am really hoping that things will turn out different.

When I arrived, she’s holding a coffee cup, wisps of steam rising up from the lip to redden her nose. She gestures to the cup in front of the empty chair.

"I ordered you a coffee. Black."

"Thanks." I say gratefully, wrapping my hands around the hot mug.

As I take a long sip, Sascha sits there watching me.

"So,"  she drawls back.

Damn, she looks cute today. Her long hair is pulled back in a neat braid, and her complexion is devoid of makeup. Or, if she’s wearing any, she’s opted for a totally natural look.
There’s a fresh-faced, rosy glow to her cheeks and—holy shit, her lips are pink and glossy and fucking want to kiss it.

"Are you finally going to enlighten me about why I’m here?" She asks sighing. "By the way, I won't be here for long I have an appointment with the foundation I am volunteering in a minute."

"I'll make this quick then. But yes, but first you have to promise me a few things." I started, because it is now or never.

"I'm not sure if I can." She replied slowly sipping on her own coffee.

"Guess, I'll proceed into letting Valter and--"

"Fine! What am I promising? Jezz!! Why do you have to blackmail me all the time into telling my sister!"

I smirked.

"Well one, that you’ll hear me out until I’m done. And two, that you won’t overreact we are in public." She knows the mystery deepens.

She lean back in her chair and say, "All right. Cross my heart and hope you die."

"You're cruel!" I said.

"Come on! What is it?"

I inhaled to gather more courage. "I want to be your boyfriend."

She was just silent, and in fact there is no reaction on her face for a couple of seconds. She's just there looking straight at me.

"Sascha, I want you to be my girlfriend. Is tha--"

"Don't worry, I heard it the first time." She cuts me off as she reaches for her coffee and sip on it.

"Sorry, was just trying to clear it up because you didn't react." I mumble. Fuck! I'm shaking.

"You let me promise not to overreact, so this is me keeping my promise." She says which made me to giggle up a bit.

I heard her inhale and exhaled. "Wow!"

Silence... Silence... Silence... Great! Why does it feel like it is getting awkward? Am I getting a sign of rejection now? There's no way I will let her do that.

"So?" I slowly said. Totally frustrated to hear Sascha's answer.She just stared on her mug while holding it in place.

"Kk, I just---" she started and then sighs. "I don't want you to think that even if there's something happened between us back in Finland means there is a chance that I already consider a serious relationship with you."

"You're rejecting me." I still managed to say even if I already can't breath due to the answer she just gave.

"I just don't want to be unfair to you, Kk."

"And why is that?" I said trying to stay calm even if I am already frustrated inside.

She sighs again. "Don't get me wrong, I like you actually. I do, but--"

"Then what's stopping you?"

She looked me intently in the eye. "I am still bothered from my past. I'm still trying to heal myself."

"Then heal it with me!"

"Jesperi, it doesn't work like that. That is way too selfish!"

"I don't care." I really don't. "What matters is we both like each other. We can work on it!"

"Dude, you're constantly away!"

"You have trust issues."

"Well, fuck my past for that!" She blurted out. "And that's actually the point why I don't want to be with you. I am doing us a favor here."

I want to react, I want to force things with her but instead of rebutting again I chose to be silent. I chose to be calm, because I want this so bad and yet I also respect her decisions. She was right! If I push her, it'll be too selfish...

I sighed, gathering courage again. "You didn't told me about your past before..."

I was about to talk again, but her phone suddenly buzzes. She stirs up on her seat and fished her phone out of her bag.

"I'm sorry, I have to take it."

"Go ahead." I said and rest my back on the chair.

"Hello, Mrs. Dubois? Good morning." Sascha started talking. "Yes... I'm actually waiting for your confirmation right before heading there... Great! Great!.... Yes, I'm on my way... Okay... Thank you, I'll see you soon."

When she hangs up, she sighed and then looked at me. "I'm sorry Kk, but I have to go. Can we talk about this again, soon?"

I nodded. "Do you have a ride? I can drive you."

"No, it's okay! I'll just order an Uber."

"I totally insist."

"Don't you have practice or something?"

"It's my day-off." I answered standing up. "I'll drive you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup! I want to spend some more time with you. I have missed you."

She chuckled. "Don't even start."