to love too late

chapter 40 || the fight for sanity

"Y/N?" The voice rang out, bringing my gaze away from Newt.

"Can you hear me?" It asked. Teresa. It was Teresa.

I quickly got up from the floor, standing up.

"I need you to listen to me." She paused. "I know you have no reason to trust me, but I need you to come back. You can save Newt. There's still time for him"

I wanted to believe her, I really did. But I couldn't bring myself to believe her. She's done me wrong before. 

"There's a reason Brenda isn't sick anymore" She said as she let out a small laugh. "It's your blood. She isn't sick because you cured her! She doesn't have to be the only one. All you have to do is come back, and this will finally be over. Please. Just come back to me. I know you'll do the right..." She was cut off. The electricity of course decided to cut off, leaving us in the dark with the flames as light.

"Newt..." I heard from behind me, making me snap my head to see Newt, raging straight towards me. 

The boy let out an inhumane yell as he began running towards me, making me topple over as he jumped onto me. I fell to the floor with a loud thud, or what I thought was a thud. My mind was spinning from the sudden impact in my head, and the boys face had morphed into different objects. My eyes blurred and I could feel a warm substance down the back of my head, trickling down slowly.

Thomas came at us, pulling the blond off of me. As he too began to brawl with the Crank. He threw Newt to the ground, but that didn't seem to faze the Crank in him as he got up easily, running straight at me...

"Newt- Newt, it's me! Newt it's me!" I croaked as his body came flying at me, knocking me back onto the concrete ground. 

I rolled on the ground with Newt.

"Thomas! I want you to stay out of this!" I yelled to the brunette. If I died, I knew I died for Newt.

I screamed at Newt as I kicked him off of me, both of us landing at different spots of the courtyard.

I scrambled up to my feet quickly, ready for the next fight that was about to happen. I needed a miracle. I needed Minho and Gally to come back with the serum.

Newt still sat crouched down on the floor, blood spurring from his lips.

"Y-Y/N!, Y/N." He yelled through heavy pants of air. "Kill me!" He looked me dead in the eye, wanting me to kill him.

"No, no, Newt, I can't." I cried.

He looked at me once more, this time his face turning into an animal like state as he flung himself onto me. 

I was on the floor, Newt on top of me as he began trying to bite at me, growling and using all of his strength that the virus had given him. I somehow kept him from biting away at me.

"Newt! Please!" I yelled as he began putting pressure onto my chest, almost as if trying to stop the airflow in my body.

I grabbed at both of his arms as his breathing began to mellow down, his eyes turned back from their dark black, to his somewhat normal brown. 

"I-I'm sorry, Love" He said to me, realizing what he had been doing.

My eyes turned to sorrow as I stared at the blond that I still had feelings for. "It's okay, it's okay Newt" 

But in almost a split second, his eyes lost the brown and turned back to their black state, bloodshot veins in them.

Newt had grabbed the gun from his holster, cocking it and holding it up to his head, a look of determination written on his face. I wasn't going to let him kill himself. Not like how he had tried to in the maze.

"No!" I yelled as I knocked the gun out of his hand, moving it in the direction of Thomas as he quickly grabbed it.

I had obviously made Newt angrier with me as he made another inhumane screech, pouncing back onto me.

I punched the boy off of me, gaining my stability back as I stood up, watching the boy intently as he stayed on the floor, back towards me. I watched as he grabbed an object from his belt, but I couldn't quite see it. 

He slashed it at me quickly, making me fall inches away from the blade he held. Where was he getting all of these weapons and who's bright idea was it to give a Crank weapons.

"Y/N! Kill me before I kill you!" He screamed.

I lay on the floor from the almost stab I just escaped from as Newt made his way back on top of me. He held the knife between both of his hands, pushing down on it quickly near my heart. I grabbed his hands in mine as he began trying to puncture me.

"Newt, Newt, please" I pleaded as he used his strength to get the blade inches from my chest. "Please Newt, I should've told you this earlier, but I didn't know how. I'm sorry... I love you, I never got the chance to tell you this earlier" 

The blond's face softened at my words as he began to release the strength on me.

"I- I lo-" He began, but the virus was taking over quicker as he began pushing down on the blade again. 

He let out one loud groan as he used all of his force to watch the blade sink into my skin. I screamed for the life of me, watching the blade go into my flesh. I couldn't bare it. The pain or the feeling of Newt anymore. I kicked him off of me, knocking him to the ground.

Where was Minho?

Newt and I both stood up as he began to swing the knife around, wanting to kill me. I screamed a mix of "No! Newt" and "Please stop!", but of course he didn't listen... He no longer had control of his own body...

The boy suddenly ran at me, swinging his arm. I braced myself for the impact of the knife in my chest, instead I never felt it. I was embracing the boy in a one armed hug as my hand was around the blond's hand. Newt's breathing grew heavy on my shoulder as I stepped back to look at him.

It seemed like time was moving slower, and the universe was no longer on my side. I had broken my promise... I didn't keep Newt safe.

I looked down at his chest as the handle of the blade stuck out. He had done it. I had done it. I let the boy kill himself. I looked up to the blond, shocked.

Newt's breathing hitched one last time as he gave me a small weak smile, the smallest smile I'd ever seen. He crumbled down onto the floor as I grabbed him. I knelt over his figure.

"No, no, no" I choked out.

"No! No! No!" I screamed. Thomas stood in his spot, not being able to move.

"No! I promised you I'd keep you safe! I promised you!" I yelled as I hit the ground.

Newt's body lay motionless on the floor, not responding to anything. 

"No, Newt, No!" 

I couldn't even tell him how I felt until it was too late. I did this to myself. Maybe if he knew how I felt, he would've tried to fight harder. For me. But instead he had given up. He accepted his fate long ago. He accepted the fact that one of us was going to die tonight, and he made sure that it would be him. He made sure of it. With the last bit of energy he had, he made sure the blade went into his body and not mine.

I hadn't let go of the boys collar. I couldn't. This was Newt. The boy I loved too late.

I would never forget the way his brown eyes looked back at me, not like they had in the Glade, but instead with no emotion, no feeling, nothing.

I looked up to be met with Brenda. Her eyes were glossy as she stared at the sight. I broke down into harder sobs. Gally, Minho, and Fry, came close behind, all of them staring with their mouths open.

"I'm sorry" I managed to sputter out through sobs.

I got up quickly, leaving them to mourn the death of Newt.

"Bring him back to the Berg. Please" I said, before walking off to go grab the gun Newt had almost killed himself with.

I was going to kill Wicked. If it was the last thing I did. I was going to kill each and every one of them. Starting with Ava Paige. 

published : february 8th, 2023

A/N : ... i'm sorry. it had to be done... THE STORY ISN'T OVER YET SO DON'T CLICK AWAY!.