to love too late

chapter 43 || accepting fate

published : february 11th, 2023

The halls seemed to be burning as we both struggled to walk through them. I put as much energy as I could to walk, but Teresa still had to support me. 

We walked as fast as we could to an emergency staircase, but as we tried to go down, it was cut off as it erupted into flames.

"Shit!" She yelled as she lead me up the stairs. Her breaths turned staggered.

The two of us made our ways up the stairwell quickly, opening the door to the roof top, my lungs screamed for air. Specifically clean, fresh air. Coughs escaped my lips in a matter of instants.

It looked as if the whole world was on fire, as everything surrounding our platform was lit up into flames. 

"Come on" Teresa said to me as she began moving back to the door that we had just emerged from, but it too had shot up into flames.

I thought I had accepted my fate earlier, but I think now, now was the time where I truly accepted the fact that I was going to die. I stumbled to the ground as my legs couldn't hold the weight of me anymore.

Teresa kept me perched up right as she let out loud gasps for air and small tears escaped her eyes, falling onto my shoulder slowly.

"I'm sorry, Y/N" She said as we both needed clean air.

"No, don't be. You just saved my life" I said to her quickly, groaning in pain as the bullet wound seemed to have gotten worse. 

She held out a vial for me. My vial. My cure. I took it from her as I placed it slowly into the pocket of my cargo's. 

Not only had I accepted my fate, but so had Teresa. We both knew that we were going to die, we both were going to allow it to happen as well.

"I'm sorry..." She sobbed. "I tried"

And as she said those words, bright blue lights began to shine through the flames, something rumbling too. 

Teresa's head shot to the lights as I turned my body to get a better look. There. Flying in, was the Berg. Teresa and I both stared in shock as the light beamed against our faces. 

I felt her breath quickly as she began to hoist me up again. A look of determination on her face.

"Come on!" She said loudly as I grunted with every step we took closer to the Berg.

Nearby us, a building began to topple down, making me stumble to the floor.

"No!" Teresa cried out as she fell to the floor as well.

"Y/N!" I heard someone shout from the Berg. I easily identified it as Vince. 

Vince held out his hand to me as we made our way closer to the flying ship. 

"Give me your hand!" He shouted"

"Get closer!" Teresa yelled.

"Jump!" Vince shouted back as the Berg moved slightly closer to us. Our hands were inches apart, but the energy in me gave up as I fell out of the grasp.

"No!" Teresa screamed. She was determined to get me on that Berg.

Another building beside us began to crumble, shaking the air and the flooring. I held out my hand weakly to the group. 

"Come on reach!" Minho screamed as he held out his hand for me.

With all of her might, I felt Teresa push me into the Berg, Vince and Minho securely grabbing ahold of my arms.

"Come on!" Vince yelled to Teresa.

The building next to us fully crumbled as it shook the Earth, knocking Teresa to the floor. 

"Teresa!" I yelled, so did Thomas.

The blue eyed girl looked up to me, with a small sad smile. Almost identical to the one Newt had given me moments before dying. I knew what it meant. She wasn't going to jump. 

"Teresa! Jump! Please!" I pleaded as I too held out my hand. 

She stayed in her place as the platform she stood on began crumbling behind her. Only moments from taking her.

"Teresa!" I yelled as I too began to slip and fall.

Even though she accepted her fate, I wasn't going to allow her to die, or to die alone. I wasn't going to allow what happened with Newt, happen to her. I felt her hand in mind as I caught her, and a hand wrapped around my leg as they began to pull me back on board.

As they finished pulling the two of us back on board, I could see tears streaming down her face. Someone was stroking my hair away from my face as they began tending to my wounds on the ground of the Berg. And that was all until the world dissipated into nothingness. No sound, no vision, no touch.

So, to whoever found ahold of my notebook. Whether it's Minho, Thomas, Teresa, Brenda, Gally, or Newt (Newt, if a miracle happened and you're reading this, I don't know what to say). I love you all. I've loved you all, and I'm so very grateful. I hate to end this letter while I'm trying to hide myself away from Janson. I just hope, that you all have made it. I don't know where I'd be without you all. I'm so lucky to have been stuck in the maze with a bunch of you idiots, even if you all were boys. 

I'm sorry and wish that I could say this aloud to all of you, but this is all very rushed because of Janson trying to murder me and what not. Your notes are in an envelope behind this page. I hope it finds you well, or atleast it finds you at all.

- Love Y/N

P.S. : I'm sorry for loving you all too late... especially you, Newt.