A Year of Jubilee [The Death Note Fanfic]

Chapter 17

Denial is a powerful thing.

Jubilee experienced this first hand when, within eight hours, she had convinced herself to forget the revelation of the night before. Instead, she had replaced it with a myriad of excuses that, despite being more comfortable to face, were nonetheless still annoying.

"Stockholm Syndrome," she declared through a mouthful of toothpaste to her own reflection as she brushed her teeth that morning. She spit the mouthful of minty foam into the sink and looked back up at the mirror. "I've got Stockholm Syndrome," she declared to herself with unassailable certainty. "It's the only possible explanation."

Is it now, said Hellenos dryly from the corner.

"Yes." She nodded her head furiously at the mirror. "I've been cooped up in this building for too long. I'm losing it."

Hellenos leaned against the wall. You know, humans do this a lot. Explain away the miraculous with the mundane.

"Hah!" Jubilee whirled on Hellenos, pointing her toothbrush at him accusingly. "It is miraculous, isn't it? Which means that it's not natural. Which means that I don't—! I don't..." She glared at the end of her toothbrush, unable to bring herself to say the words aloud. With a hmph she whirled around again, grumbling ominously to herself as she fumbled around on the counter for her contact lens case.

Don't what? asked Hellenos innocently.

"Nothing," snapped Jubilee. "I don't like him." She snatched up her contacts and proceeded to insert them into her eyes.

Who?

"You know who!" Jubilee shouted, almost poking her eyes out in her agitation. Taking a deep breath and gripping the edge of the counter, she lowered her forehead to the cold white edge of the sink and counted to ten. "Tell me I don't like him, Hellenos," she said softly, her eyes closed. "Not like that."

Why? snorted the angel. You don't listen to me half the time anyway.

Jubilee snapped upright, thoroughly irritated. "This can't be happening to me," she said through gritted teeth.

What can't be happening to you? Use your words now.

"Nothing. Nothing is happening to me," she hissed. "I am not attracted to him. It's not possible."

And why not, pray tell?

"Because it doesn't make any sense! He's not attractive. He's not good-looking. And frankly, he's weird," she declared, more to her reflection than anyone else.

Hellenos put a hand over his eyes. One step forward, two steps back, he murmured to himself.

Jubilee whirled back to him. "You explain it then," she demanded. "How can I be attracted to someone I don't find attractive?"

Hellenos regarded her coolly. I thought you just said that you aren't.

Jubilee felt herself panic. "I'm not!"

Hmm. Hellenos cocked his head as though considering her. You're right. You're not making any sense.

Jubilee slammed her fist against the counter in despair and frustration, then dragged her hands down her face. "That's it. I must be losing my sanity."