"I really didn't expect you to be this type of a doctor. I'm really disappointed" I said looking straight into his eyes. Even saying that I could hear my heartbreak. As much as I didn't want to say it, I felt like I had to.
A hospital in the middle...
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After a few days, we decided to do the shoulder surgery on Beomgyu. I haven't talked to him since he fell asleep crying as I was busy preparing for the surgery and other emergency patients.
Honestly, I was avoiding saying goodbye.
I wasn't ready.
Even doing this surgery was hard because I knew right after he would be gone for three months or even more. Or maybe gone forever.
Seeing him in that state made my heartbreak. I wish I could take away his pain. I hope he could go back to his goofy self that smiles a lot, even though he would annoy me most of the time. I would rather have him annoy me than see him lying down on the bed, looking pale and sick.
I blocked those thoughts out and focused on the fact that I'm in the operation room and I have to do this surgery whether I like it or not. Beomgyu was sitting on the operation seat on nerve block anaesthesia and wide awake.
Since we needed him sitting up to do the surgery, we couldn't have him sleep. We ensured a blue drape was between him and the operation area so he couldn't see his shoulder. even though he probably performed a lot of surgeries, having surgery done on you is different
"Vitals" Doctor Park asked
"Stable," Doctor Nam replied
"Okay, let's start then?" I asked, and Doctor Park nodded
"Make sure you do it properly, Doctor Min Eunha," Beomgyu said teasingly
"Don't worry, it's just a simple surgery," I said
"Muscle repair for the Grade three Ruptured in the Infraspinatus and Supraspinatus," Doctor Park said, confirming the type of surgery before we got started.
"scalpel" Doctor Park said, and I handed him the scalpel
Throughout the surgery, I was trying to block out the fact that It was Beomgyu that I was operating on and replacing it with a stranger. Because if I keep in mind that it's Beomgyu, I will keep working if he is doing okay, if he feels any pain even though he is on a nerve block, or does he need anything.
I usually don't think about or don't even need to think about while performing a surgery.
Thankfully the surgery went on successfully with no complications. Which I was glad about because it meant that everything would get better. After Doctor Park and I finished our part, we left the rest to the nurses.
"Are you planning on making him leave for three months?" I asked Doctor Park once we were out of the operation room
"Yeah, it's best for him," he said
"Does he know?" I asked
"Yeah, he agreed," Doctor Park said. My heart stopped for a second.
