"this is stupid, irresponsible and stupid-"
"i'm fucking in love with you and you're calling this stupid and irresponsible?"
"no, don't blame love for this lo'ak.. don't"
!WILL WRITE BOOK 2 WHEN AVATAR 3 WILL COME OUT!
x-started on 14.01...
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. . .
twirling and shouting, drinking and laughing. people celebrating my ceremony with happy cries while enjoying themselves.
families and friends congratulating me while i just nod with a small smile.
right after they would leave my smile dropping going back to my serious, stiff expression. i sat down on a wood stump while zoning out again.
the traditional songs being played by metikayina instruments with people singing along the words with big smiles.
i was the only one just sitting down not doing anything, even the elders were more hyped than me.
my so called ceremony who was supposed one of the best moments of my life. but it's not.
it's full of shit.
men kept asking me to dance with them, giving me stuff to drink which i would just deny, it was starting to get tiring.
and still no sight of lo'ak. sigh.
why would i expect him to show up? after having one of the biggest fights i could with him and basically just broke up with him.
but can you blame me? can you blame me for wanting to save my clan from death? why should an eighteen year old girl worry about something like that? why should i stress or even give a fuck about my people when i'm supposed to live my life at my age.
i didn't ask for any of this, all i wanted was lo'ak.
all i wanted was to go to the forest with him, having my best moments with him and later on forming a family that i would live and cherish all my life.
instead i'm giving all that up for saving my people who don't even know that they'll die.
so blame me. blame me for not knowing what the fuck to do.
all i can think of is wanting to stab myself and be free of everything.
"hey sis" i look up seeing neteyam with a sweet smile plastered on his face, i smile back as he crouched down on his feet to be at the same height with me.
"hey neteyam" i said in a low obviously upset tone "what's wrong? you don't seem too happy" he touched my shoulder with a concerned look on his face.
i shrugged looking down "just thinking.." he sigh patting his fingers onto my skin so he could gain my attention "hey you can talk to me, okay? any burden that you have, give them to me and i'll beat their asses"
his words made my lips crack into a little smile "have you seen lo'ak by any chance?" i asked as he shook his head "no, he might be with payakan though he should be here celebrating with us"
i sigh pressing my lips together "no, he shouldn't. this celebration is all bullshit anyway" he furrows his eyes with a frown "did something happen to you two?"
